


An Idea

by zebraljb



Category: NSYNC
Genre: Coming of Age, M/M, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-13
Updated: 2012-01-12
Packaged: 2017-10-29 10:43:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 27,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/319032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Justin and Lance experiment...but slowly things grow more serious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

AN IDEA  
One

 

“I’ve got an idea,” Diane Bass said to her son as they left the meeting room. “Why don’t we just go grab our things from the hotel and get to the airport.”

“What? Why?” Lance whined. “Mama…”

“James Lance, don’t talk to me in that tone,” she snapped. She unlocked the door of the rental car and unlocked Lance’s side. Lance flopped onto the passenger seat and pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “This isn’t what’s best for you.”

“How do YOU know?” Lance muttered.

“James! Already you’ve picked up attitude from these boys. You most definitely will NOT be staying anywhere near them.”

“Mama, please!” Lance begged.

“James, it’s all wrong for you. I don’t really like that Mr. Pearlman. And those boys…they’re nothing but trouble.”

“Trouble? How are they trouble?” Lance protested. “Justin’s only, like, fourteen, or something!”

“And he’s already cocky…thinks he runs the world just because he was on a television show.”

“And JC?”

“Too thin. You can’t trust people who don’t care enough to keep themselves fed, James.”

Lance thought that was the WORST logic he had ever heard, but he knew better than to contradict his mother. “Chris?”

“Don’t get me started,” his mother groaned, and Lance pretty much agreed with her. It was obvious that Chris disliked Lance, and the feeling was mutual, though Lance never would have said anything.

“Joey? You liked Joey, Mama, I know it,” Lance said.

“Yes, Joey was nice,” Diane admitted. Joey had shaken her hand politely, given her a friendly smile, and called her “ma’am” in a way that wasn’t at all insincere, the way Justin’s “ma’am” had been. “I liked that boy.”

“Me, too, Mama,” Lance said. “And I can get along with the others. Please.”

“James, I don’t know,” Diane sighed.

“Just sleep on it. Okay, Mama? Sleep on it. Our flight doesn’t leave until dinner tomorrow, anyway.”

“Okay,” Diane said, sighing again.

 

Lance lay awake long after his mother was asleep, his fingers absently scratching at the cheap bedspread. His mother HAD to say yes. He needed to be in this group. He needed out of the tiny backwards town more than his mother could ever know. She knew he didn’t really fit in, no matter how popular he seemed at school, but she didn’t know why. She didn’t know he liked boys, and that it wasn’t a very good way to be in a town like theirs.

He could fit in with these boys. He could sing and learn to dance, and maybe even get Chris to like him, eventually. He could…if he could just stay.

 

“Hello?”

“Is this Lance Bass?”

“Yes,” Lance said slowly. His mother was in the shower and he was packing.

“This is Joey. Joey Fatone…from the group?”

“Yes, I remember.” Lance sat down hard. “Hi, Joey.”

“So…we were wondering…you wanna join us?”

“Really?” Lance whispered. Joey laughed.

“Sure. You sing great, and me and JC will help you with the dancing. You’re perfect for us.”

“Wow.” Lance sat silently. His mother came out of the bathroom already dressed, her hair dripping onto her shoulders.

“Who is that, James?”

“Hold on, please,” Lance said politely. He put the phone down. “It’s Joey…you know…the nice boy you liked? They want me, Mama.”

“James, I thought we decided.”

“No, Mama, YOU decided,” Lance said quietly, hoping Joey wouldn’t hear. “I want this. I NEED this, Mama.”

Diane stared at him for a long moment. “Fine,” she said finally, and Lance heard Joey whoop from his end of the phone.


	2. Chapter 2

AN IDEA  
Two

 

“I have an idea,” Lou said, his large hand grasping Lance’s shoulder muscle and lightly massaging. “Why don’t you boys go out for dinner? On me.”

“Really? That’d be great!” JC said, beaming.

“You had a great rehearsal. Things are going well.” Lou nodded and grinned, and the group began to happily file out of the dance studio. “Not so fast,” Lou said, holding onto Lance’s shoulder.

Lance looked up at him, swallowing deeply. “Is…is something wrong, Mr. Pearlman?” Lance asked. “I’ve been working hard…Justin helps me with the dancing and I tutor him.”

“I know you have, Lance…and eventually I’m sure you’ll be good enough. I thought that you and I could go do some shopping. Your look isn’t exactly what we’re going for. You look…too sweet. Justin’s our sweet baby…you need something different.”

“Oh,” Lance said, looking down at his shoes.

“We could get some dinner on our own. What do you think?”

“Lance?” Justin called as he entered the room. Lou’s hold on Lance loosened. “Oh, hi, Mr. Pearlman. We were wondering where Lance was.”

“He won’t be going with you,” Lou said, and Lance’s heart sank. As much as he wanted to please their manager, he also wanted to try and fit in better with the other guys. “We have some shopping to do. We need to change Lance’s image.”

“Oh, let him come with us,” Justin suggested. “We’ll take him shopping…maybe change his hair?” Justin gave Lou his charming smile. No one could say no to Justin for long, not even Lou.

“If you really want to,” Lou said, looking mildly disappointed.

“Are you sure?” Lance asked Justin. He knew full well that Chris would probably be pissed off.

“Absolutely. Aren’t you all about us bonding, Mr. Pearlman? We hardly even know Lance, even after a month!” Justin beckoned to Lance. “C’mon. Chris has his car and he’s waiting out front for us. We need to go home and change.”

“Okay,” Lou said with a sigh. He peeled a large wad of bills from the pile in his pocket. “Make sure you get me receipts,” Lou told Justin. “Give the money to JC to hold. He’s the most responsible of you all.”

“Yes, sir,” Justin said, nodding. “Lance, c’mon.”

“Thank you anyway, sir,” Lance said to Lou. “Bye.”

“Goodbye, Lance. You boys have fun,” Lou said, watching them leave.

“Lance, do me a favor,” Justin said quietly as they hurried out to Chris’ car.

“Sure,” Lance said shyly, still a bit shocked that Justin had come back for him.

“Don’t let yourself be left alone with Lou, okay?” Justin stopped by Chris’ car.  
“Why?” Lance asked. Justin smiled.

“You’re so clueless, Lance. He’s bad news, okay? He likes boys in all the wrong ways.” Lance flushed slightly and his mouth fell open. “Not that it’s bad for guys to like guys, or whatever, but Lou…he’s no good for anyone. You get me?”

“Yeah,” Lance whispered. Justin was the youngest, but in many ways, he was NO baby.

“Hey, Lance!” Joey yelled as Justin opened the back door.

“Oh, you brought him along,” Chris said, and Lance felt his heart hit his ankles.

“Get up front, Joe,” JC said, climbing out of the front seat of the tiny car. “You’re biggest. We can snuggle in the back.”

“Snuggle, Jayce? Looking for some love?” Justin batted his eyes at JC.

“Not from you, Underage Boy,” JC said, tossing his head. He gave Lance a friendly smile and climbed into the backseat of the car.

 

“Justin?” Lance said, looking up from his math book. Justin was whistling through his teeth, tapping his pencil on his notebook as he took notes from the novel he was reading. JC was in the living room watching television. Chris and Joey still had jobs, and they were both at work.

“Am I bothering you?” Justin said, smiling apologetically.

“Nah. I just…I had a question about Lou,” Lance said. He still felt uncomfortable with everyone, except possibly Joey, but the whole conversation with Justin had stuck in his mind. It was two days later and he was still thinking about it.

“Sure.” Justin kept one eye on the door from their study area in the dining room to the living room. The house they shared was small, and sound carried quickly.

“Did he ever…I mean, um…” Lance turned beet red.

“Did he ever do anything to me?” Justin finished, and Lance nodded. “No…but I can tell he wants to. Actually, he’s only left me alone because you’re around.”

“Me?” Lance squeaked, running a hand through the newly bleached hair. He hated it. His mom hated it. And Chris used it as the forum for his daily “pick on Lance” time.

“Yeah. You’re sweet as Georgia peaches, Lance, and twice as clueless,” Justin said, shrugging. “But, anyway…he never touched me. But he did something to JC.”

“Really?” Lance’s mouth fell open as he looked towards the living room.

“Yeah, but don’t ever say anything. I’m the only one who knows, because I found JC afterwards. He’s better now…JC’s a good actor.”

“Shit,” Lance whispered.

“Just stay safe and never be alone with him.” Justin looked back down at his book. “Okay…this is bullshit,” Justin said, shoving the novel aside. “Why do I care about symbolism?”

“Because a lot of times the things that authors write aren’t really what they seem,” Lance told him. “Like I had to read this thing once where a guy wrote about how they should just take all the poor people and feed them to the rich people as dinner.”

“Euww.” Justin wrinkled his nose.

“But he didn’t mean it. He was just pointing out what was wrong with society at the time. People find all kinds of political commentary in things like Alice in Wonderland, the Wizard of Oz, stuff like that.”

“Whoa,” Justin said, impressed. He shoved the book at Lance. “Can you show me the symbolism in chapter three?”

“Sure.” Lance took the book and scanned the chapter. “Hey, Justin,” Lance said quietly.

“Hmmm?” Justin looked up from where he was practicing his autograph.

“Thanks,” Lance whispered. Justin just nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

AN IDEA  
Three

 

“I have an idea,” Chris said from his seat on the sofa. He was tossing popcorn up into the air and trying to catch it in his mouth.

“Mmph?” Joey responded, his mouth muffled by the carpet. JC had felt the need to work off some steam, and had decided to give Joey a massage. JC’s massages were usually painful, but Joey had given in cheerfully. Everyone usually did give in to JC. Lance had noticed that JC was carefully watched and protected, like a piece of priceless glass. After what Justin had told him, Lance understood why. Added to that was the fact that JC was just a very sweet, very nice guy, and it made you feel good to be nice to him, like you were allowed to give a precious gift to a precious person.

“Let’s…go through Lance’s closet and throw out all the ugly, preppy clothes,” Chris suggested. “He’d be pretty much naked, but, hey, maybe he’d get a girl that way.”

JC frowned as he glanced over at Chris. Joey sighed and shook his head. Lance turned red and looked down at his shoes. Chris picked on them all, but his attitude towards Lance had never improved. “Chris,” Justin began slowly, sitting up and crossing his legs. He had been doodling on the cover of Lance’s Trigonometry notebook, practicing his autograph yet again. “How comes you always pick on him? Look at some of Joey’s clothing.”

“Hey!” Joey said, raising his head.

“It’s okay, Justin,” Lance said, standing up. He knew that Justin all but idolized Chris, and he appreciated that Justin had attempted to stand up for him. “Let me handle this.”

Chris snorted and smiled with amusement. “Handle this?”

“Look, Chris, I’ve known since the first second I met you that you didn’t like me. Maybe you’re jealous. Maybe you’re mad that at sixteen I sound more like a man than you EVER will. Maybe you’re mad that we had a decent home life, with money and actual running water. Maybe you’re mad that I’m not your buddy Jason. Maybe you’re mad that Lou treats us like puppets and we HAVE to jump when he tells us to. I’m sorry that I have designer clothes. I’m sorry that I can pull off a look that you NEVER could. I’m sorry that my parents could pay for dental care. But I’m NOT sorry I’m in this group, and I’m NOT going home, no matter how hard you try to make me give up and run away crying. Yeah, I cry because of you, but notice that YOU’VE never seen it. In some ways, I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be. So fuck off and leave me alone, before I kick your little mousy ass all the way back to Pennsylvania.” Lance kicked Joey’s feet out of his way and stormed out of the rec room.

Everyone sat in silence, then Justin silently got up and left the room. He knew where Lance was. Justin went out the back door and headed for the swing that sat in a corner of the yard. “Hey.”

“If you came out here to say what a great guy Chris is, I don’t want to hear it,” Lance snapped. “I know you guys are like best buds and all, but I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“I don’t blame you.” Justin sat down on the swing. “He’s been a real dick to you.”

“Yes, he has.” Lance scuffed his shoe on the ground.

“You actually swore. You said fuck,” Justin said, shocked. Lance stared at him.

“THAT’S the part that surprises you?” Lance asked.

“You don’t swear. I mean, you don’t up and bitch people out, either, but, God, Lance.” Justin looked impressed.

“You’re nuts,” Lance told him. Justin grinned his sunny smile.

“Well, when we have people like you around, who are all sweet and innocent on the outside, then jump all over people, I think I’m looking pretty sane.”

“Oh, no,” Lance groaned, watching the other three walk across the yard. “He’s not gonna hit me, is he?”

“If he does, I’ll hit him,” Justin promised.

Joey stood on one side of Chris, with JC on the other. He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled at Lance. “Damn, Lance, where’d that hellcat come from?”

“Guess that’s how they grow them in Mississippi?” JC asked, smiling at Lance. “Remind me never to piss YOU off.”

“I’m sorry,” Chris said with a sigh. “I guess I’ve been taking things too far and I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Lance said softly. “My mouth runs when I’m angry, and I said some awful things that I had no right to say. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Chris said, shrugging. “You had every right.”

“We go to Europe next week,” JC said, sighing. “I hope you guys can get along.”

“We can get along, can’t we, Lancey-Pants?” Chris asked. Lance gave him a small smile and nodded. Chris held out a hand and yanked Lance from the swing. He put an arm around Lance’s shoulder as they headed back to the house. “We gotta get along…because we are SO gonna kick ass over there, aren’t we?”

“We sure are,” Lance said, though he wasn’t as confident as he sounded.


	4. Chapter 4

AN IDEA  
Four

 

“I have an idea,” Justin whispered in Lance’s ear. He pulled Lance aside as the others hurried out to the car.

“Justin, Lou’ll be mad if we’re late,” Lance said.

“Screw Lou,” Justin said bravely, then looked around quickly to see if their manager was within earshot. Satisfied that he wasn’t, Justin continued. “Why don’t we get drunk tonight?”

“We can’t do that!” Lance said, horrified. “Even though this is Europe, we can’t buy it!”

“I know, stupid,” Justin said, poking Lance in the arm. “I’ll get Joey to buy it.”

“Joey?”

“Yeah. He’s old enough, and he’ll do it. He knows we go crazy sitting around while they’re out having fun. Chris would make fun of us if I asked him, and JC would outright refuse.”

“You really think he would?” Lance asked excitedly.

“Sure,” Justin said, shrugging casually, but Lance knew he was excited about it, too. Finally, something to alleviate the boredom of being the babies.

 

“So…” Justin propped himself up on his elbows and smiled at Lance. “Did you leave a girlfriend back home?”

“No,” Lance said, spinning the empty beer bottle on the floor. Joey had gotten them twelve bottles of beer, and the dark brew was stronger than anything Lance had ever tasted at home. Justin had gotten silly after two, and downright loopy after four. Lance was on his sixth, and everything was starting to get a bit fuzzy around the edges.

“You broke up?” Justin asked sympathetically. Lance didn’t answer. “I had a few girls who liked me, ya know, because I was on the TV show and all…but they weren’t serious.”

Lance grinned at Justin’s mature tone. “You mean, they let you Mice date? I thought that was forbidden.”

“Ha ha,” Justin said, giving him the finger. “I bet you never even kissed a girl.”

“I did…once…” Lance said. He didn’t say how much it had turned him off. Girls weren’t what he was interested in. “I didn’t like it.”

“You didn’t like it,” Justin repeated. He rolled his eyes, then sat up straight. “Guess what! I forgot to tell you!”

“Hmm?” Lance picked up the beer bottle and tried to balance it on one finger.

“JC likes Joey.”

“Of course he does. Joey’s the nicest person I know,” Lance murmured. “He has such a great smile…and nice hands.”

“He does?” Justin scratched his head. “Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, JC LIKES him. Like boyfriend likes him. Like wants to have sex likes him.”

“Really?” Lance almost dropped the bottle. “So, JC’s…gay?”

“Yeah.” Justin’s eyes were wide. “I thought so, maybe, when we were on the show, but I didn’t really KNOW.” Justin was still young enough to be shocked by this.

“Does Lou know?”

“Are you crazy? Lou would have a cow if he knew.”

“Of course he would,” Lance said sadly. “So, how’d you find out?”

“I saw them. Joey and JC. They were in the hall one night after they went out. I heard them and peeked out. JC had Joey pressed against the wall, and he kissed him! Joey actually let him for a second, then he pushed back a bit and looked really sorry, you know? He said that he wasn’t gonna fool around with JC, because JC was too special, or something. And JC was drunk, I think, because he began to cry and told Joey he loved him.”

“Poor JC!” Lance said, sighing. He really liked JC, and JC got hurt so easily.

“I know. I wanted to go beat Joey up or something. Then Joey said that he knew JC loved him, but that he could never love him in that way…and he didn’t want to use JC or hurt him.”

“Good for Joey,” Lance said, relieved. He couldn’t believe this little soap opera had happened right under his nose, and he had been sleeping.

“Yeah. Then Joey hugged him, and JC sniffled on him a bit, then Joey helped him to the room. I think Joey was sharing with Chris that night,” Justin said, trying to remember.

“Wow.” Lance digested this information.

“Did you ever kiss a guy?” Justin asked. Lance turned red and Justin laughed. “You DID! When?”

“When you were sleeping,” Lance said, keeping a straight face.

“Huh? You kissed me? Dammit, Lance, I’m gonna kick your ass,” Justin said, standing up and swaying.

“No, I’m kidding, you jerk. Sit down.” Lance yanked on Justin’s shirt and he fell back onto the bed next to Lance. “It was back home.” He didn’t mention that all total, he had kissed three guys…but nothing exciting had come of it.

“Did you like it?” Justin asked in awe.

Lance gave his best impression of one of Justin’s shrugs. “Yeah, I guess. I mean…they weren’t very good, I don’t think. I always thought good kisses were supposed to just shock your whole body, ya know? But they didn’t.”

“Oh.”

“Have you?” Lance studied Justin carefully. The younger boy suddenly looked so appetizing…shocked, big blue eyes, cherry red lips that Justin constantly licked at…

“Nope.” Justin tilted his head. “But I wanna try. Can I kiss you?”

Lance felt every nerve ending jump to attention, but he tried to remain calm. “Sure. If you really want to. I bet you’re not that good, though. You’re just a kid.”

“Ha. I know more than YOU do,” Justin retorted. He scooted closer to Lance on the bed, then giggled. “This is crazy.”

“If you’re gonna be a dork about it…” Lance moved away.

“No.” Justin grabbed Lance and pulled him close. Their lips met clumsily at first, and they both pulled back. Then Justin looked into Lance’s calm green eyes and settled down a bit. He nervously leaned back in and gave Lance a shy kiss. Lance smiled at him sweetly and returned the kiss with one a bit more passionate.

Lance felt Justin sigh against him, and he allowed his hand to reach up to the back of Justin’s neck. They kissed again and again, and Lance felt the tentative lick of Justin’s tongue. Lance parted his lips, and Justin’s tongue snaked in. Lance couldn’t keep the moan from escaping, and in reward, he felt Justin’s hand on the back of his own head.

Lance was the first one to finally pull back. “Well?” He whispered.

“That was, uh…not too bad.” Justin’s face was red, and he kept his back to Lance as he got up and quickly fell onto his own bed. Lance smiled and laid his head on his hands, trying to ignore the fact that he had felt that kiss throughout his entire body.


	5. Chapter 5

AN IDEA  
Five

 

“I have an idea,” Chris said, throwing the tennis ball to Joey. Joey lobbed it back. The elevator dinged and they casually leaned against the wall, looking like two friends who were waiting for someone. The woman gave them a curious look, then headed down to her room. Chris stepped back out into the hall and threw the ball at Joey. German hotels were old and dirty, but they had nice long halls.

“What’s your idea?” JC asked. He was a few feet away, seated on the floor. He scribbled in a notebook and didn’t look up as Chris spoke.

Joey threw the ball back. “I think we should get Lance a hooker,” Chris said. Joey’s mouth fell open and he didn’t even try for the ball Chris threw. It sailed past Joey and hit JC in the head.

“Ow!” JC rubbed his head.

“Sorry,” Joey said, helping JC to his feet. “You want to get Lance a HOOKER?” Joey repeated.

“Shh!” Chris looked towards the room where Justin and Lance were working with their tutor.

“You want to get him a hooker?” Joey repeated in a hiss. “Why?”

“He’s sixteen years old. It’s time the boy had sex,” Chris said.

“Maybe he has already,” JC said.

Chris and Joey looked at each other and laughed. “Lance?” Joey said. “I love the guy, but I doubt he’s had sex.”

“We can restyle his hair, put him in some funky clothes, and he still looks like the sweet Mama’s boy from Mississippi,” Chris said. “He needs something else.”

“And you think sex is the answer?” JC asked.

“Sex is the answer to everything,” Joey answered. Chris nodded. JC sighed.

“And where are you getting the money for this?”

“I thought we could split it three ways. All chip in.” Chris studied his shoes.

“What, you’re not gonna ask Justin to chip in?” JC asked.

“Justin’s just a baby!” Chris said, horrified. JC rolled his eyes.

“Fine. I’ll chip in. I know how hard it is to hook up with someone, especially here. And it probably wouldn’t hurt him,” JC said. “When are you planning on doing this?”

“I thought after tomorrow’s show,” Chris said. “Maybe we can distract Justin or something.”

“Okay,” Joey said, nodding. “And I’m assuming you know where to find this chick?”

“Of course,” Chris said, looking almost insulted.

 

“Hey, Justin?” Lance whispered. Their tutor was gathering his things together and getting ready to leave the room.

“What?” Justin replied. Lance watched until they were alone.

“Um, what would you think of asking Joey to get us beer again?” Lance said a bit louder. He bit his bottom lip. He had debated for three days about asking Justin. It had been fun just to loosen up and hang out, but he didn’t want Justin to think he was out to seduce him or something. Not that he hadn’t thought about that kiss for the last three days. He could hardly look at Justin without thinking about it.

“I was thinking about that, too!” Justin said, grinning. “That was fun. And it’s only fair…they get to go out all the time.”

“Yeah,” Lance said, sighing with relief.

“Maybe tomorrow we could…” Justin began.

“Hey, kids,” Chris said, opening the door. “We saw the Professor leave.”

“Hi,” Justin said, leaning back and stretching. Lance swallowed deeply and looked down at his science book.

“We thought we’d all hang out tomorrow night, after the show,” Chris said. “We’ll be back home before we know it, and it’ll be fun to hang out here.”

“Okay,” Justin said. “We didn’t really have plans or anything tomorrow, right, Lance?”

“Right,” Lance said, trying not to show his disappointment. He looked at JC, who was looking at him with almost a sympathetic expression on his face. Did JC know that Lance was slowly getting a crush on Justin?

 

“Okay…she’ll be here at eleven-thirty,” Chris hissed to Joey as they hurried back to their vans. “We gotta get cleaned up, and we’ll meet in JC’s room.”

“JC’s room?”

“He’s in the single…it just works better. You know Jayce, he can sleep anywhere.” Chris jogged on ahead of Joey.

“Joey.” Lance tugged on his sleeve.

“Yeah, Lance?” Joey asked almost nervously. He didn’t want to blow the surprise.

“I was wondering, um, if you, ah…could get us beer again?”

“Oh, sure, kid,” Joey said, relieved.

“I mean, while we’re here and all…I know you can’t back home,” Lance said, seeming just as nervous as Joey.

“Sure. Next time after a show, okay?” Joey gave Lance a friendly clap on the back.

Everyone went back to their hotel and got cleaned up. They also packed, as they were leaving early the next morning. In another week, they’d be heading back to the States.

Joey knocked on Lance and Justin’s door. “Guys? We’re over in JC’s room.”

“Okay,” Justin called back. Before they could get their shoes on, Chris knocked on the door.

“Hey, J, can you come to my room for a sec before you go to JC’s?” Chris called through the door.

Justin looked at Lance. “We’ll be right there.”

“Uh, no, just you. Lance can go on over to JC’s.”

“Okay.” Justin stared at Lance. “Wonder what that’s all about?”

“He’s your best friend,” Lance said, shrugging.

“Aw, c’mon, Lance. Chris likes you, too,” Justin said, giving Lance a smile. Lance shrugged again.

“I’m going over. I’ll see you in a bit.” Lance tied his shoe and went out the door.

JC was hovering outside his own room, which made Lance a bit curious. “Hey, Lance,” JC said. “I just want you to know, this is a gift for you. We’re not making fun of you or anything, okay?”

“Uh, sure,” Lance said, getting even more curious. JC opened the door. Lance’s mouth fell open as he saw a beautiful red-haired woman laying on JC’s bed. “Um, maybe I should come back,” Lance said, stepping back.

“No, Lance,” Joey said, waving Lance into the room. “This is Marie. She’s here for you.”

“Hello, Lance,” Marie said with difficulty.

“She doesn’t speak much English, but we taught her your name,” Joey said, smiling. “She’s for you.”

“What do you mean, for me?” Lance whispered.

“She’s, uh, a prostitute,” JC said behind him. Lance turned to look at him, and JC was shocked by the wild look in Lance’s eyes.

“And she’s for you. Later, Gator.” Joey grabbed JC and shoved him out of the room.

Lance stared at Marie, who wore little more than a mini dress. She waved him towards the bed and he timidly sat down. She sat up and smiled at him, running a hand down his pale cheek. She kissed his cheek, and the scent of her perfume washed over him. Lance looked down, directly into her blouse, and he suddenly felt ill. He bounded up from the bed, and she stared at him quizzically.

“I, uh, I’m sorry. Very sorry.” Lance backed away, shaking his head. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” He fumbled with the doorknob and managed to get the door open. “I’m sorry,” he said over his shoulder.

Joey and JC were in the hallway, and they looked at him in amazement. “I know you’re young, Lance, but done already?” Joey asked.

Chris came out of his room. “I have Justin safe in there for…hey, what are you doing out here?” Chris asked.

“I can’t. I can’t. That’s…no. NO, thank you.” Lance ran a hand through his hair. He felt his heart pounding in his chest, and it was almost painful.

“Are you kidding? Lance, she’s a sure thing!” Chris almost shrieked. “How often do you get THAT?”

“I can’t. No. I can’t believe you…no.” Lance’s face was red with embarrassment. He wanted to go back to his room and die. He made it to the door and dug the key out of his pocket.

“What the fuck?” Chris said in disbelief.

“I’ll talk to him.” JC ran to the door and caught it before it shut. Lance was already face down on his bed, and JC could see his shoulders shaking with sobs. “Lance, are you okay?”

“Go away!”

“Lance, shit.” JC felt lower than he ever had. He sat on Lance’s bed and awkwardly patted Lance’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. We thought we were doing you a favor.”

“Some fucking favor,” came the muffled reply, and JC had to smile. Only when truly upset did Lance use the word fuck.

“We knew you never had sex before, and we wanted to help. If this group thing takes off, the wrong kinda girls will be throwing themselves at you. Trust me.”

“I don’t care about them.” Lance rolled over, his face tearstained and red. “Maybe I didn’t have sex with a girl because I didn’t WANT to. Did you geniuses ever think of THAT? Maybe I’m like you, JC.” Lance clapped a hand over his mouth, horrified at what had escaped.

“What does that mean?” JC asked slowly.

“I…well…” Lance decided to lie to cover for Justin. “I saw you one night with Joey. I know you’re gay or bi or whatever…and…and…and I think I am, too.” Lance fell back onto the bed and buried his face.

“Oh,” JC replied softly. He rubbed Lance’s back again, and Lance seemed to slowly calm down. “So, I guess you were kinda freaked out, huh?”

“She…she only kissed me, and her perfume…I felt sick,” Lance said into the pillow. “God, I was so embarrassed. I…I couldn’t ever…she didn’t…”

“I understand,” JC said, and Lance knew he DID understand. Lance slowly sat up and wiped at his tears.

“I’m such a stupid baby. I don’t know anything about anything.”

“You already know what you don’t want,” JC pointed out. “And you’re not a baby.” JC hugged him, and Lance was surprised at how comfortable a hug from bony JC really was.

“Don’t tell them,” Lance said into JC’s shoulder. “None of them.”

“I won’t,” JC promised. “We’ll tell them that you just weren’t ready, that you want something more than a prostitute.”

“I DO want something more,” Lance said. JC pulled back.

“It works the same with guy groupies, Lance. They’ll do anything to get a piece of you.” The sad look in JC’s blue eyes made Lance sigh.

“I know about Lou, JC,” Lance whispered. “And I’m sorry.”

JC shrugged. “Over with. Just be careful, no matter what, okay? Make sure it’s someone you can trust.” Lance nodded. “Do you want Justin in here tonight, or do you want to be alone?”

“I don’t think I can be alone right now.” Lance rubbed his chest. “I kinda…hurt. I don’t want Justin to know what’s going on.”

“Sure thing.” JC ruffled Lance’s hair. “Get ready for bed. I’ll send Justin in.”

“Thank you, JC,” Lance said softly.

“No problem.” JC left and Lance went to wash his face and brush his teeth.


	6. Chapter 6

AN IDEA  
Six

 

“I have an idea!” Joey said, bouncing into the room that he and JC shared. They were back home, and JC had decided that he wanted to room with Joey. Chris got his own room, as the oldest, and Lance and Justin shared a room. “Let’s go out!”

“Out?” JC moaned, pulling his pillow over his head. “We’re barely home, Joey. I’m not even unpacked. I want to sleep.”

“You can sleep anytime. We don’t have any kind of performance for a whole week…we’re going out.” Joey bounced out of the room to find Chris.

“Hey, Jayce, wanna…” Justin drifted off as he looked at JC. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” JC said from under his pillow. “Joey wants to go out tonight.”

“Oh,” Justin said, disappointed. He hated the fact that the three older men got to go out all the time. They couldn’t drink like they had in Europe, but they could get into the eighteen and older clubs, while he and Lance had to stay home. But he did like hanging out with Lance. “Okay.”

Justin wandered off to find Lance. Lance was carefully folding his socks and putting them into the top drawer of his dresser. He had immediately done laundry after sleeping away the jet lag, and a neat pile of clothes was on Justin’s bed. “I did your laundry,” Lance said, not even looking over his shoulder.

“Really? Thanks, Lance.” Justin picked up the pile and shoved it here and there into his dresser. Lance sighed and rolled his eyes. “The guys are going out tonight.”

“Already?” Lance asked. Justin nodded. “Oh, well, guess you’re stuck with me…unless you’re going down to your mom’s or something.”

“Nah. I thought…maybe you could borrow someone’s car and we could get pizza and just hang out here,” Justin suggested. Lance smiled.

“Joey’ll let me use his…they always take Chris’ car out anyway.”

“Cool.” Justin leaned in the doorway, watching Lance fold his clothes. He wanted to say something, but didn’t know what to say. He finally went back to drag JC out of bed and onto the basketball court.

 

After quickly consuming an entire large pizza, Lance and Justin were stretched out on opposite ends of the sofa. Justin was on his stomach, his feet tucked between Lance and the back of the sofa as he leaned on the armrest, watching TV. Lance looked at him for a long moment, then finally decided to take a chance.

“Hey, Justin?”

“Hmm?” Justin murmured.

“About that night…in Europe…when we drank?”

Justin slowly rolled over and looked at Lance. “Yeah?”

“I wondered, uh, if you ever…thought about it.”

“Sure.” Justin shrugged, but his eyes were uncertain. “I do.”

“Oh, because, well, I do, too. I just didn’t want you to regret it or anything.”

“I don’t. We didn’t really DO anything or anything.” Justin slowly sat up and stretched.

“Oh, right.” Lance nodded. “You know, I’m glad we’re in the same room here. I think I’d miss you sleeping in the other bed.”

“Really?” Justin smiled his beautiful smile. “I’m glad, too, since Joey and Chris snore, and JC sings in his sleep.”

“He does?” Lance laughed. He had never really roomed with JC.

“Yeah, and at least he’s not like, having dirty dreams out loud or something,” Justin said, and Lance laughed again. Justin paused, then said, “Have you ever had sex?”

“N-no,” Lance said, blushing. “Where did that come from?”

“I just was wondering. How far have you gone?”

Lance turned even redder. “Uh, not very far. I…just kissing, really.”

“A girl let me touch her once, touch her chest.” Justin rolled his eyes. “What little chest she had.”

“Did you like it?”

“It was okay. I think it was more the idea of touching it than actually touching it,” Justin said. Lance nodded. “I guess if we’re famous, we’ll get lots of girls.”

“Yeah,” Lance said sadly, knowing he didn’t want lots of girls…he wanted one particular boy.

Justin licked his lips. “Can I kiss you again?” Lance blinked. “I dunno, I just…I feel like it. Maybe it’s talking about sex or something…” Justin smiled sheepishly. Lance slowly nodded, and Justin scooted closer. “You need to meet me halfway,” Justin pointed out, and Lance smiled as he blushed. Lance moved closer.

“This okay?”

“Yeah.” Justin looked at him for a moment. He slowly leaned in, and Lance met him. They bumped noses, and Justin pulled back, laughing. Lance didn’t laugh. His eyes seemed large and green, and Justin’s hand moved up to cup Lance’s chin before he realized it. They moved again, and it was perfect this time.

Lance had forgotten how soft Justin’s lips were. He sighed against Justin’s mouth as the kiss grew deeper. Before either of them knew it, Justin was leaning forward, Lance was leaning back, and soon they were stretched out with Lance on the bottom. Justin’s hand settled on Lance’s waist, and Lance’s arms moved up around Justin’s shoulders. Lance’s hands twined up into Justin’s short hair, and Justin sighed.

“Do you like that?” Lance whispered. Justin nodded.

“Your hands are so soft.” Justin’s hand slid up a bit under Lance’s tshirt and Lance shivered.

“So are yours,” Lance said, and Justin smiled as he let his fingers lightly tickle Lance’s side. Lance squirmed a bit, and Justin moaned.

“God, Lance, don’t…I’m so…” Justin moved slightly and Lance felt the hardness against his leg. Lance blushed, feeling his own cock jump to an even harder attention.

“Me, too,” Lance murmured, and Justin kissed him again.

Neither of them could point out when it moved from innocent kissing to making out. Justin’s hand was slowly circling its way up Lance’s side, and Lance’s lips were nibbling down Justin’s neck. Justin let a thumb slide over Lance’s nipple, and Lance let out a low growl which Justin felt down to his feet. Justin pulled back slightly, looked down at Lance, then slowly sat up. “Whoa,” he said weakly.

“Are you okay?” Lance asked. He sat up as well. His hair was sticking straight up, and his lips were red and full from the hour of nonstop kissing.

“I just…this is…I dunno…”

“I’m sorry,” Lance whispered. He felt as if he had corrupted Justin.

“It’s okay.” Justin stood up. “I think I’m gonna shower and go to bed, okay?”

“Yeah. I think I’ll go to bed, too,” Lance said softly.

 

Lance was in his sweatpants and tank top and under the sheets when Justin came into the bedroom. Lance turned his head away and feigned sleep, trying to ignore the ache in both his groin and his heart. Everything had moved fast, true, but the way Justin had moved off the sofa, it was as if he were ashamed. Lance didn’t want Justin to be ashamed.

“Lance, are you awake?” Justin sat on the edge of Lance’s bed and Lance smelled the soap and shampoo.

“Hmm?” Lance let his eyes flutter open in what he hoped was a sleepy manner.

“I’m sorry. I just…it felt so good, and it frightened me. I don’t…I’m not…”

“It’s okay,” Lance said. He reached out and patted Justin’s thigh. “Go to sleep.”

“I’m not tired.” Justin stood up and pulled off his tshirt, which was damp from his wet skin. He wore only baggy sweatpants. “Can I lay down with you?”

“But I thought…” Lance sat up.

“Please,” Justin whispered. “I want to do that again. It felt so good…”

“Justin, I don’t want to just be someone for you to get off with,” Lance said, though he desperately wanted to be that person.

“You’re not! And I won’t. I just…your hands…” Justin leaned in and the pouting red lips were moving against his and suddenly Lance forgot all about protesting.


	7. Chapter 7

AN IDEA  
Seven

 

“I have an idea,” Chris said, flopping down next to JC on the sofa. “Let’s play some sort of joke on Lance.”

“I thought you liked Lance.” Joey frowned as he kicked at Chris’ shoe.

“I do. Much more than I did. He’s a cool kid. But, he needs to be roughed up now and then. All little boys do.”

“You don’t rough Justin up,” JC pointed out.

“Oh, yes, I do,” Chris said. “All the time. You guys don’t see it.”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with hookers, does it?” Joey asked fearfully.

“Nah. I just thought while he was sleeping. Maybe we could just pounce on him, scare him outta his dead sleep or something.”

“I’d hate to see how you acted if you hated someone,” JC muttered.

“Aw, c’mon, Jayce. I’m just playing. If I didn’t like him, I wouldn’t waste my time,” Chris said, shrugging.

“Good point,” Joey said.

“Okay…as long as no hookers are involved. You really embarrassed Lance with that,” JC said. Chris blushed slightly.

“Yeah. I know. I feel kinda bad about that. I’ve tried to make it up to him,” Chris promised. “You guys with me?”

“Sure,” Joey said. He was all about playing jokes on his little brothers.

“Whatever,” JC said, grateful that Lance had him as his guardian angel.

 

“Hey,” Justin said tiredly, kicking off his sneakers.

“Hey.” Lance removed his glasses and put his bookmark into his book. He smiled at Justin. Justin had gone out with some friends his own age, and Lance hadn’t felt like hanging out with the others after dinner. He had retreated to their room, curling up with a book. He and Justin still felt awkward with each other at times, but they tried not to notice it. “Did you have a nice time?”

“Yeah, it was okay,” Justin said, shrugging. He grabbed his things and headed out the door. “I'll tell you after my shower.”

Lance went back to his book and tried not to think of Justin in the shower. Besides a few clumsy kisses in the dark now and then, they hadn’t done much more than what had happened that night. They were back in rehearsals, and usually they were too tired to do anything but say goodnight before passing out.

By the time Justin returned to the room, Lance was tired. He had put his book down and was snuggled under the covers. “I’m not sleeping,” Lance promised. “Tell me about your night.”

Justin sighed and ran a hand through his damp hair. “It turned into some date thing.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I thought it was just gonna be some guys, but there were an equal number of girls and we ended up paired up. The girl was kinda dumb, though she was hot,” Justin admitted with a smile. “Had a FINE body.”

“That’s nice,” Lance said politely.

“Yeah, well, she’s not someone I’d hook up with again. She was all over me…and I don’t think I like that,” Justin observed. “Practically had her hand down my pants during the whole movie.”

“Wow,” Lance said, not knowing what to say. “Well, I hope some of it was fun.”

“Yeah, it was.” Justin tugged at the hem of his tshirt. “Well, I guess I’ll hit the hay.”

“Okay, goodnight.” Lance rolled over, pulling the blanket up to his ears. Justin turned out the light and Lance sighed. He jumped when he felt Justin lay down beside him.

“Hey,” Justin said softly, kissing behind Lance’s neck. Lance tried to keep still.

“Yeah?”

“I try not to do this, ya know,” Justin ran a hand over Lance’s hip, feeling the bone through the blanket. “I’m not like this.”

“Well, I was reading something in a magazine and it said a lot of teenagers experiment…boys and girls…and it doesn’t mean you’re gay or anything,” Lance said weakly. Justin’s breath on his ear was weakening all reserve.

“Experimenting. Yes, like school.” Justin snickered and licked Lance’s ear. “I never liked school this much, though.”

“Me, either.” Lance gave up and rolled over. “It doesn’t have to mean anything,” he promised. “We can just be fooling around. I know you date and all.”

“I could bring you along some time,” Justin suggested. His smooth fingers ran across Lance’s skin in the dark. “Hook you up.”

“Maybe,” Lance said, moaning as Justin kissed him. Somehow Justin wiggled his way under the blankets, and Lance was soon covered with an extra blanket of sexy adolescent boy.

“You taste so good,” Justin gasped, letting his lips travel down to Lance’s collar bone. Lance paused as he realized his own hands were grasping at Justin’s backside. “I want…I want to touch you.”

“Wh-what?” Lance said weakly.

“Fuck, Lance, I leave the room and go jack off in the bathroom every time anyway,” Justin said. “Can’t we just do it together?”

Lance blushed in the dark. He had tried not to look at the other guys when given the opportunity, but he felt inadequate all the same. “You…you want to do that to me?”

“You don’t think it sounds hot?” Justin sounded disappointed, and slightly embarrassed.

“Oh, hell yes!” Lance said quickly and honestly.

“We won’t turn on the light or anything…just like take off our pants or something,” Justin said. “If we make a big mess, we can just sleep in my bed or something.”

“I think we should go there now,” Lance said. His own bed was a lot closer to the door.

“Okay.” Justin immediately jumped up and dove under his own covers. Lance laughed as Justin’s pants hit the floor by his feet.

“Horny little boy.”

“Yep,” Justin said, and Lance could imagine the beautiful grin. Lance pulled off his own sweats, and timidly crawled into bed next to Justin. He felt the hotness of Justin’s leg, then suddenly they were facing each other…and touching.

“Oh,” Lance gasped. His hand slid down clumsily, and suddenly Justin’s length was in his hand.

“Ah…Lance…” Justin fumbled under the cover and Lance felt a jolt from his head to his toes. “You’re long…hard…” Justin grunted in his ear. His hand slid down and back up again.

“Justin…” Lance forced his mouth onto Justin’s to keep them both from making too much noise. He tugged lightly, then caressed, and Justin whimpered, thrusting into Lance’s hand. Justin sucked on Lance’s tongue as he even let a few fingers stray down to Lance’s balls.

“I’ve never…so good…better than…” Justin mumbled. He ducked his head down into Lance’s neck, his breathing labored as he tried to hold back while working Lance.

“You don’t…have to wait…” Lance panted. He felt sparks all over, and Justin’s skin was hot and thick in his palm.

“I…I…” Justin froze entirely as they heard voices outside their door.

“You think they’re finally asleep?” They heard Joey whisper.

“Holy shit!” Justin hissed in a whisper.

“Roll over. Quick. You’re sleeping.” Lance shoved at Justin and quickly rolled to face away from Justin.

“A-HA!” Chris pounced into the room and jumped onto Lance’s bed. “What the fuck?”

“What’s going on?” Lance sat up and sleepily rubbed at his eyes. He made sure that the sheet safely came up over his hips.

“We came in to…what are you doing over there?” Joey asked.

“Justin had a nightmare. I was consoling him and just crashed here.” Lance blinked at the light that filtered in from the hallway. JC looked from Justin’s bed to the floor and Lance blushed in the dark.

“Yeah.” Justin sleepily sat up as well. “It happens a lot. Scary performance dreams.”

“Dude, I’ve had those,” Chris said. “One time…”

“They’re sleeping. You’ll have to plan a joke for another time. Sorry, guys.” Joey smiled at Justin apologetically and shoved Chris from the room.

JC closed the door behind them and turned on the light. Both Justin and Lance winced. “Hey, guys, just a little suggestion,” JC said in a tone that was not at all mean. “Don’t throw the pants right out onto the floor. Keep them under the covers in case you need to shimmy into them quick. Good night.” JC went back out, shutting off the light and closing the door. Lance and Justin both fell back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.


	8. Chapter 8

AN IDEA  
Eight

 

“I have an idea,” Lance said, grabbing Justin and yanking him into a closet.

“What the hell?” Justin cried, rubbing his arm. “Lance, what are you doing?”

“I think we need to talk to JC,” Lance said. He looked around the closet and caught a broom just before it hit Justin on the shoulder.

“I can’t believe you know where the BROOM closet is in our freaking rehearsal studio,” Justin mumbled. Then Lance’s words sank in. “You want us to WHAT? No!” Justin said immediately. “It’s been a week, can’t it just blow over?”

“Justin, it’s been a weird week. I can’t hardly look at him, and I know you feel the same way. JC’ll be cool about it. I mean, he coulda just yelled and brought the other two back in. I wanna talk to him.” Lance put a hand on Justin’s arm. “Please?”

Justin shivered at the touch. Nothing had been done in the week since everyone had burst into the room. Lance had crawled back to his bed and they had eventually fallen asleep. “But he won’t think I’m the Little Mouse anymore,” Justin said unhappily, then slapped his hand over his mouth.

“Uh, what?” Lance said, wondering if he had misheard.

Justin sighed. “Okay…when we started to realize this group might actually GO somewhere, I got really freaked out. I was afraid. And JC…he helped me. He said that because of the whole Mousketeer thing that he was the Big Mouse and I was the Little Mouse. And it was my job to do the best I could at what I knew, and it was HIS job to protect the Little Mouse.”

Lance couldn’t help himself. “That is so damn cute, Justin.” Then he thought about it. “Great. The Big Mouse is gonna kick this Little Bass’ ass!” Lance moaned.

“No, he won’t, JC likes you too much,” Justin said reassuringly. “But I know he won’t look at ME the same way again.”

“Let’s just corner him tonight and talk to him. We need to get over this or things will get REALLY weird, and Joey and Chris will notice,” Lance said finally.

“And that’s the LAST thing we need,” Justin said, frowning.

 

“Uh, JC?” Justin asked, sitting down next to JC at the restaurant. Lou was doing one of his rare “dinners out for the boys” things, and they had picked a halfway decent restaurant.

“Yeah, J?” JC perused the menu. “Oh…I wonder if I can get this. I’ve never tried it and it sounds great.”

“Are you going out tonight?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it. Probably.”

Lance met Justin’s gaze across the table and nodded. “Uh,” Justin stammered. “Do you have to?”

JC finally looked up from the menu. Lance suddenly found HIS menu very interesting. “Why?”

“I…I need to talk to you. I have a problem,” Justin said finally, and JC immediately jumped into “Big Mouse” mode.

“Of course I can stay back. That’s all you had to say, J.” JC put an arm around Justin’s shoulders and squeezed quickly before turning back to his menu. Lance sighed with relief.

 

“Hey, Lance,” JC said in surprise. “I thought I saw you go out in Joey’s car.”

“I did…needed pens,” Lance said sheepishly, holding up the box of Bics.

Joey and Chris were long gone, and Justin had asked JC to meet him in the room Justin shared with Lance. Lance was on his own bed when JC finally showed up. “I wanted him here, too,” Justin said nervously.

“Ah. This is about that night,” JC said, sitting down on Lance’s desk chair.

“I just wanted to explain about it, Jayce. I…”

JC stopped Justin’s rambling with a raised hand. “It’s okay, Justin. No explanation needed. You do what you want, just be careful.” JC looked Lance in the eye. “Have you guys fucked yet?”

Lance blushed. “Jayce!” Justin yelled, burying his face in a pillow.

“No,” Lance said quietly. “There’s no way we’re ready for that. Justin’s only fourteen…and I’m not ready, either.”

“Almost fifteen,” Justin pouted into his pillow.

“Good.” JC turned the ice blue eyes onto Justin’s pillow. “Justin, look at me.” Justin peeked out. “Like I said, I’m fine with this. But I have a question.”

“’Kay,” Justin whispered.

“Are you gay?”

“Me? No!” Justin shot up from the pillow. “I’m just…curious. Yeah. Experimenting. And Lance said…he said that was normal…and I just like it. Experimenting. With Lance.” Justin gave Lance a tiny smile and Lance blushed again.

“Okay. I was just wondering. Kids your age aren’t real sure about what they are or what they want. It’s cool that you’re doing that…just be careful. I don’t want either of you hurt.” JC smiled at them both. “And I won’t tell Joey or Chris.”

“You’re the best, Jayce,” Justin said. Then he looked at Lance. “Why…why didn’t you ask if HE was gay?”

Lance squirmed in his chair. “Well…he already knows the answer.”

“You’re gay?” Justin gasped. “You never said…”

“You never asked. JC found out kinda by accident. I’m not trying to seduce you or anything,” Lance said, but he looked at JC. “I never expected you and I to…fool around.”

“You’re gay.” Justin tried to digest the information. “Wow.”

“On that note of epiphany,” JC said, standing. “I’ll roll. I’m not freaked out, Justin. I was just a bit shocked. I trust Lance.”

“Don’t you trust ME?” Justin said indignantly.

“Of course,” JC said, but there was a teasing tone to his voice. He left the bedroom.

“I didn’t mean to lie to you or anything,” Lance said quietly. “We…I mean…”

“I know. It was crazy for me, too.” Justin looked at Lance, hugging his pillow to his chest. “I like it, though. But I don’t want to be gay.” He winced immediately. “I can’t believe I just said that. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Lance shrugged. “You’re not gay, Justin. You love women. This is…what it is.” Lance waved a hand in the air. “And when we’re ready, we’ll fool around again. Or maybe not.”

“Right.” Justin nodded but still looked confused.

“I, uh, need to write some letters.” Lance picked up his box of pens and waved them a bit.

“Right.” Justin stood. “I’m gonna watch TV or something.” Justin stood as Lance went to his desk chair. Justin followed Lance and stood behind him. “I like fooling around with you,” Justin repeated softly in Lance’s ear, then went out of the room.


	9. Chapter 9

AN IDEA  
Nine

 

“I have an idea,” Joey said. “We could have girls in the video! Dancing girls…in bikinis.”

“Lou will NOT let us have dancing girls in bikinis,” JC snapped. “Justin’s only a baby, for God’s sake!”

“I am not!” Justin yelled from his spot in front of the TV.

Joey and JC were daydreaming about their future. “Someday I want bikini girls,” Joey said stubbornly. “Justin won’t be a baby forever.”

“I’m not a baby NOW!” Justin yelled.

“Sure you are.” Chris plopped down next to Justin, rubbing his head affectionately.

“Am not,” Justin grumbled.

“Hey, Lance…I left my blue sweatshirt in your room…when Justin and I were wrestling in there earlier,” JC said suddenly. “Can you get it for me?”

“Uh, sure.” Lance put his bookmark into his book and slowly pulled himself off the sofa. They had had a hard workout that day, and he was hurting all over. “Of course, I may just fall onto the bed and never get back up again.”

“There ya go, Jayce…Lance will be ready and waiting for you,” Chris called out. “About time you get laid anyway, Chasez.”

Lance blushed. Justin frowned, then wondered why he was frowning. JC threw a pen at Chris’ head. “Chris, Lance is way too good for me. I need someone way below me. Like you, maybe?”

“What are you trying to say, Beanpole?” Chris yelled, sitting up. Lance gratefully made his escape to his room. He saw JC’s sweatshirt on his bed, but it was wrapped around something.

The fact that JC had taken the time to hide whatever was there made Lance suspicious enough to shut the door behind him. The shirt had a note tucked in one of the sleeves. “Lance…I thought this would be helpful. One of you should know what you’re doing…and I think that person should be you. Have fun, but be careful. JC.”

Lance unwrapped the sweatshirt and felt his face start to burn. Three pornographic magazines slid onto his lap, but there were no women on the covers. A video with no label was next, but he could only assume what that was. When he got to the book titled, “Anal Sex for Beginners,” Lance wanted the ground to swallow him whole. Instead he shoved everything into the trunk at the foot of his bed, locked it, and crawled into his bed. He appreciated the thought, but it was still enough to make his entire body burn with embarrassment. He heard a phone ring, and pulled the pillow over his head. If it was his mother, he would truly die.

 

“Okay, Mom. I know. No, I promise it won’t be Chris,” Justin said into the phone.

“What won’t be me?” Chris demanded. “Your mom loves me.”

“Yeah, I can think of someone. And no, we won’t burn the house down,” Justin promised.

“I wouldn’t burn the house down!” Chris said indignantly. Joey flew onto Chris with a grunt, tackling him to shut him up. JC sighed and went to his room to work on a new song. Justin rolled his eyes at the pair on the floor.

“No, Mom. That’d be nice. I need some time away from these losers,” Justin said, grinning.

“Hey!” Joey and Chris yelled.

“I will. Nah, we’ll drive over. Okay. Love you, Mom. Bye.” Justin hung up. “My mom’s going out of town in a few days and will be gone overnight. She wants me to come stay at the house, to watch things.”

“Justin Timberlake, the little WatchPuppy,” Joey said, laughing.

“I’m NOT a puppy,” Justin snapped.

“Arf arf…look at the pouty little puppy eyes,” Chris whimpered. “Look at me yipping and yapping, biting at the ankles of the big dogs.” Chris pranced around, and Joey laughed again.

“Fuckers,” Justin snapped. He went to his room, noticing the Lance-sized lump under the blankets. “Lance, you sleeping?”

“No,” came the muffled reply.

“Ever want to just shoot people who think they can say anything they want to you?” Justin flopped onto his bed.

“Or the ones who think they’re helping, but only make things worse?” Lance said under his pillow.

“Yeah,” Justin said, sighing. “Hey, um, my mom…she’s going away in a few days…she wants me to stay over at the house, keep an eye on things.”

“Cool,” Lance said, slowly surfacing for air. “Peace and quiet.”

“Tell me about it. Didya know she actually had to clear it with Lou, make sure he didn’t need me or something?” Justin said, rolling his eyes. “I wish she wouldn’t have…he’ll know I’m alone over there.” Lance and Justin shivered in unison. “Anyway, she said I could have a friend over. Do…do you wanna stay over with me?”

Lance slowly sat up and looked at Justin. “Me? Really?”

“Sure. Why not?” Justin said casually. “JC won’t be any fun, he’ll wanna go to sleep at like eight-thirty or something. And Joey…I like him, but I don’t feel like asking him. And she actually told me that I’m not ALLOWED to ask Chris.” Lance laughed out loud and Justin smiled. “I know. I thought it was funny, too. And I just…yeah.”

Lance thought of the gift from JC and blushed. He thought of a night alone with Justin and blushed even more. “Uh, okay. Yeah. That’d be fun.”

 

“I still don’t understand why she wouldn’t let ME over there,” Chris grumbled as he watched Justin throw a duffel bag over his shoulder. “I’m an adult, for God’s sake.”

“But you don’t act like one,” Lance reminded him, gently slapping Chris on the cheek as he passed. Joey grinned. Lance was getting better and better at giving Chris an attitude before Chris even came up with something smart to say. “Maybe I’M more responsible than you are.”

“Maybe you’re a jerk,” Chris pouted, hating to be left out of anything that could possibly be fun.

“And if I hear anything suspicious in the middle of the night, I’m calling the cops without even looking,” Justin said, poking Chris in the chest. “YOU can explain to Lou why you got arrested.”

“Don’t worry, J,” JC said, but he looked at Lance as he spoke. “I’ll make sure no one bothers you tonight.” Lance blushed and gave a quick wave over his shoulder as he headed out to Joey’s car.

 

They stopped for snacks and Chinese food before heading to the house that Justin’s mother was renting while she looked for something more permanent. “Hey, it’s a nice night out,” Justin said, letting his hand hang out the open window. “Maybe we could swim later.”

“Maybe so,” Lance said, ignoring the fact that he hadn’t brought along swim trunks. He could just wear boxers.

They got to the house and Justin unlocked the front door. As he had expected, there was a note from his mother on the hall table. “Baby,” Justin read out loud, and groaned. “Please don’t blow anything up or set anything on fire. I hope someone responsible like Lance or JC is with you.” Lance blushed with pleasure. “We’ll be back around one or so tomorrow afternoon. Love, Mom.” Justin rolled his eyes. “Like I’m six or something.”

“You have your elementary school moments,” Lance said, and ducked away from Justin’s punch. “I’m hungry and that stuff smells good.”

“Here.” Justin handed Lance his duffel. “Drop our stuff in my room and I’ll get plates and soda and stuff.”

Lance obediently headed upstairs. He stopped in the room that Justin used when he slept at this house, staring at the bed. It looked small. He knew he could sleep anywhere he wanted…but he also knew he wanted to sleep there. In that bed. With Justin.

He bounced back downstairs to the kitchen, where Justin was already dishing himself a steaming plate of sweet and sour chicken. They chatted as they ate, Lance filling his plate with fried rice and shrimp chow mein. Justin tended to talk with his mouth full while eating Chinese food, which Lance thought kind of odd, but it was endearing just the same.

“Let’s swim.” Justin pushed back his chair and began to clear the empty cartons.

“Don’t we need to wait a half hour or something?” Lance said automatically. Justin laughed.

“Don’t worry, Lance. If you start to drown, I’ll save you.”

“And give me mouth to mouth?” Lance said as automatically as he had before. Justin actually blushed, and Lance giggled. “I’ll go change.”

“Yeah,” Justin said absently.

Lance grabbed a clean pair of boxers and headed for the bathroom, in case Justin came into the bedroom. He stared at himself in the mirror, taking a few deep breaths. He had looked at the magazines JC had given him, though he had completely ignored the book and video. What he wanted was in those magazines. Men kissing and touching and doing all kinds of things that he had dreamt of. And he wanted to do that with Justin. Not everything right away, of course, but things. And Justin wanted him. He had said so. Lance knew that he was the one who had to really make the first move.

 

They didn’t spend much time in the pool. The night was warm, but the water already had a chill in it. Lance hated swimming and being cold at the same time, so it didn’t take long for him to pull himself out and wrap up in a big towel, teeth chattering. He didn’t mind, though. He enjoyed watching Justin do laps and fool around in the pool, his body long and sleek like a dolphin.

Justin finally climbed out and pulled a towel around his shoulders. “Guess this wasn’t such a good idea,” he said, teeth chattering slightly. “I’m gonna shower and get warm. You can use the shower downstairs if you want.”

“Thanks.” They toweled off enough so they wouldn’t drip all over the house, then hurriedly trotted inside. Justin headed for the main bathroom upstairs.

Lance started for the downstairs shower, then stopped. This was it. He needed to take the initiative now, or he’d never have the balls to do it again. He slowly made his way up the steps, following the sounds of running water. As he approached the bathroom, he could hear Justin singing something. Lance paused to decipher the words, then smiled. Bon Jovi.

Lance quietly let himself into the bathroom. The shower curtain was closed, and he could see Justin’s silhouette against the fabric. He stripped off his wet underwear and took a deep breath, realizing that for the first time, he’d really be seeing Justin naked.

Justin dropped the shampoo as he whirled around. “Lance!” Justin stared at him. Lance pulled the shower curtain shut, cutting off the cold draft. “What…”

“I thought we could share.” Lance’s normally deep voice seemed to echo off the shower walls, and his green eyes were huge. “If you didn’t mind.” He was surprised at how calm and confident he felt. Justin wouldn’t turn him down.

“No…I don’t…mind…” Justin’s eyes wandered down Lance’s body, freezing at Lance’s erection. “You…you’re…”

“I know.” Lance blushed slightly. “I just…you’re naked…and we never…”

“No…we didn’t.” Justin stepped front slightly so the water wasn’t running into his face. “Damn.” He put a hand on Lance’s chest, watching the water stream around his fingers. “Lance…”

“Justin…” Lance whispered back. Their mouths met and it was delicious. Hot, wet tongues met as hot water fell over them both. Their bodies were slippery as they moved together, and Lance loved the way his hands slid down Justin’s back. “I’m gonna make you cum tonight,” Lance said, feeling a bit nervous at the nasty words.

“Mmmm…please…” Justin begged, and Lance felt a jolt go through his body. He never thought he’d hear Justin Timberlake beg for anything. “Touch me…I was so close that night…”

“You’ll be more than close tonight,” Lance promised. He stepped back and leaned his head on Justin’s shoulder, looking down as his hand slid across Justin’s chest to his dick.

“Ahh…” Justin hissed. Lance gave Justin a gentle bite to his shoulder as his hand worked over Justin. It was easier than it had been that night. He could see what he was doing, memorize the spots that made Justin gasp for breath.

Justin was soon throbbing in Lance’s hand. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. Lance’s hand on his cock was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. He groaned something unintelligible and leaned his head back slightly.

Lance took the opportunity to lick at Justin’s neck. “Baby…” Lance said in Justin’s ear, and suddenly he was cumming. Justin cried out, grabbing at Lance’s shoulders as the orgasm was ripped from his body. He pulled Lance to him, kissing him desperately.

“Oh my God…I never…that was…uh…” Justin shivered in Lance’s embrace. Lance pushed back slightly so Justin was under the full force of the hot water. Lance washed his stomach off quickly as Justin ran his hands through his hair, trying to find his center of gravity.

When Justin turned around, Lance was watching him, smiling bashfully. “Hi,” Lance whispered. “I didn’t…I hope you didn’t mind. I just…”

“That was incredible,” Justin interrupted. “And you liked doing it?” Lance nodded. “You like boys,” Justin said slowly, and Lance tilted his head. “No, I just…I know and all…but it just kinda hit me. You’ll do that forever. No girls. Just…boys.”

“I hope men, eventually,” Lance said, trying to joke. He knew Justin’s adolescent mind had been going over this topic for days.

“Did it feel good, doing that to me?” Justin asked.

“Amazing,” Lance said softly. “It made you so beautiful.”

“I want to do that, too,” Justin said. Lance looked at him. “C’mere.” Justin did a graceful side step and suddenly the water was hitting Lance in the chest and Justin was behind him. “Lean back,” Justin said, and Lance did, feeling Justin’s groin against him. Justin began to suck at his neck as he slid his hands down. One hand played with a nipple as the other went down further, and Lance wondered if JC had given Justin instructional materials as well.

“Justin…” Lance moaned, leaning his head back.

“You’re right…fuck you look hot…” Justin gasped, sounding both young and old at the same time. “I know how it felt…so to do it…yeah…” Justin grunted, watching his hand. “Some day I’m gonna taste you…”

“Oh!” Lance gasped, thrusting his ass back. Justin smiled at the way Lance reacted to the dirty talk.

“Maybe even fuck you…or maybe you’d wanna fuck me…” Justin attempted. Lance’s eyes fluttered shut and he jumped in Justin’s hand. Justin’s fourteen-year-old mind spun, but he concentrated on Lance. He felt himself getting hard, and he couldn’t help but rub against Lance.

“You’re…I’m…Justin…” Lance begged.

“Come on, Lance,” Justin said. He bit Lance’s earlobe and Lance came. Lance let out a small cry, falling back onto Justin almost completely. Justin steeled himself so they wouldn’t fall. Lance shuddered in Justin’s arms, and Justin quickly cleaned Lance off. Lance turned around.

“I don’t want to make you do anything,” Lance said suddenly.

“You didn’t, Lance,” Justin said.

“You’re not gay.”

“I’m obviously bi or something.” Justin smiled.

“You shouldn’t be. You’re young.”

Justin shook his head. Lance was babbling. “Do you want to stop doing this?”

“God, no,” Lance whispered.

“Me, either. We’ll see…what we see.” Justin bent down and picked up the shampoo. “Do my hair, would you?”


	10. Chapter 10

AN IDEA  
Ten

January 1997

“I have an idea,” Chris said, pulling Joey and Lance in close.

“Hmm?” Joey said, waving and winking at a girl walking by. They were in a park for a photo shoot. JC and Justin were shooting baskets not far away.

“Let’s get Justin a hooker for his birthday.”

Lance pulled back in shock, his heart bouncing up and down in time with Justin’s basketball. “What is it with you and the gift of sex?” Joey asked, shaking his head. “You’re impossible. And it’s not as easy here as it is in Europe.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Lance ventured, and Chris stared at him.

“And why not? He’s gonna be sixteen. He should have something special.”

“Maybe he doesn’t WANT that,” Lance said. “Maybe he wants to find someone on his own. Maybe he doesn’t want the cheapness of a prostitute!”

“And what’s wrong with sex for money?” Chris snapped.

“Was YOUR first time with a hooker?” Lance said, and Chris didn’t answer. “Was YOURS?” Lance turned to Joey, who shook his head. “Thank you. Even if you didn’t stay with that person, they mean something to you. That’s why I say no.”

“Is that why you said no in Europe?” Chris asked. Lance nodded. “I’m sorry,” Chris said, and Lance stared at him. Chris had done all kinds of things to “make up” for that incident, but this was the first time Chris had apologized and sounded sincere.

“We’ll just have a party for him,” Joey said. “We’ll have a kickass party for him. That will make him happy.”

“Anything that puts Justin in the center of attention makes him happy,” Lance said, and Chris and Joey laughed. “We have three weeks to plan something great, anyway.”

 

“You’re kidding me,” JC whispered, staring at Lou. “We have to go BACK?”

“They loved you there. It’s a good business move,” Lou said. “Are you talking back to me, Joshua?”

“N-no,” JC said, his head hanging. He had hated Europe. Except for the art and history, it generally sucked.

Lou put a large hand on JC’s shoulder, smiling. “You’re everyone’s pet, aren’t you, Josh? You can explain it to them.”

“When will we go?”

“End of January,” Lou said. “We’ll stay through the spring.”

“Okay,” JC said. “Fuck,” he muttered to himself when Lou had finally left.

“Hey, JC, get your skinny self over here! I’m hungry!” Chris yelled as JC left the rehearsal hall. Lance’s mouth fell open as he watched Lou leave shortly after JC came out.

“What were you doing in there with him?” Joey almost yelled at JC. “Are you insane?”

“Don’t…don’t yell, Joe,” JC said, shaking his head.

Justin glared at Joey. “We just worry about you, Jayce,” Justin said comfortingly. “We don’t want you hurt.”

“This hurts all of us,” JC said, looking up slowly. “We’re going back to Europe for about four months.”

“What?” Chris whined.

“Money,” JC said simply. “We make good money there. Maybe by then we’ll come back and they’ll have actually HEARD of us here.”

“I don’t want to go back to Europe,” Justin said in a small voice.

“None of us do, J,” Joey said, ruffling his hair. “But we’ll be together.”

“Do we have to go before my birthday?” Justin asked, looking at JC. JC sighed and nodded. “Great.” Justin climbed into the backseat and pouted. For once, they babied him and left him alone.

 

“I was thinking,” Justin said to Lance one day as they began to pack. “Maybe we’ll be able to room together again. In Europe.”

“You want to?” Lance asked, shocked. In the time since they had had their little shower scene, he had tried to keep his distance from Justin. JC had noticed, and tried to talk to Lance about it, but Lance kept his mouth shut. He felt that it was wrong to play around with Justin, no matter how good it felt or how much Justin said he wanted it. At sixteen, Lance knew enough about being forced into things to know that he didn’t want Justin to feel pressured. At all. And the other problem was that it wasn’t fooling around for him. Lance thought about Justin in ways beyond bed. And that scared him.

“Yeah. I thought…did I do something wrong, Lance?” Justin leaned back against the door of their bedroom, closing it. “You…you haven’t wanted to…um…in forever. Did I do it wrong?”

“Hell, no!” Lance said.

“I just…I thought I did something wrong…that I wasn’t good. You haven’t even kissed me.”

“You don’t want a boyfriend,” Lance said almost accusingly.

“Right, but I thought we agreed…oh, nevermind.” Justin turned back to his suitcase and started throwing things into it. “You’re right. I want a girl. I want to have sex with a girl. You’re right.”

Lance stared at Justin’s back. “You’re crying.”

“No, I’m not.” Justin’s hand angrily wiped at his eyes. “I said, nevermind. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Lance grabbed Justin by the shoulder. “Tell me.”

“You don’t want me,” Justin said simply, and Lance read it all in his eyes. Justin felt like a failure. He felt rejected.

“That is NOT it at all,” Lance said, wanting to jump up and down and yell. “You’re right, Justin. You want a girlfriend. I’ll just confuse you.”

“But it was fun,” Justin said, pouting in a way that made Lance smile. “It felt good.”

“Some touching and one hand job?”

“No one’s…I’ve never…you’re the first, Lance,” Justin whispered shyly. “And I’m sixteen. Don’t you think I should be having sex, or something?”

Lance had to laugh at the hopefulness in Justin’s voice. “So I’m to be used to break the baby’s cherry?”

“That’s not it at ALL!” Justin yelled, annoyed until he saw Lance’s smirk. “Shut up,” Justin muttered. “I’m NOT a baby. And I’m not trying to use you…I thought…we agreed…”

“We weren’t using each other,” Lance promised. “And you think it’s fun being almost eighteen and being a virgin? At least you can run out there and find a girl…it’s a bit harder for me.”

“We could…uh…” Justin stammered.

“No. Not ready for that yet.” Lance took a step back. “I need to tell you something, Justin. Chris wants to get you a…a prostitute…for your birthday.”

“REALLY?” Justin looked shocked, pleased and embarrassed all at once. “Really?”

“If that’s what you want,” Lance said sadly. “I mean, they got me one one night, but I freaked and left. Only JC knows why…and you.”

“Oh,” Justin said sympathetically.

“But even if I DID go that way…I don’t want my first time to be like that. But it’s up to you, Justin. I’m sure he’d still do it for you, if you wanted.”

“Yeah,” Justin said thoughtfully. “But you’re right. Besides, when we’re rich and famous, I can get it whenever and wherever I want.”

“Right,” Lance said, shaking his head and sighing.

“So…you and me…maybe?” Justin asked. Lance took in the blue eyes and full lips and sighed. How could he keep saying no to that?


	11. Chapter 11

AN IDEA  
Eleven

 

“I have an idea,” Lance said, falling onto his bed. “Let’s make a vow that when we get to be rich and famous, we NEVER stay in a hotel where we have to share a bathroom.”

“Deal,” Justin agreed. Lou had found some pretty bad places for them, in order to save money, but this was ridiculous. “And room service. I like room service.”

“Your mom brings you dinner, Justin. You don’t NEED room service,” Lance teased. Lynn was along for the ride again, and it had taken everything Lance had to convince his own mother not to come along. At almost eighteen, he really didn’t think he needed a chaperone…especially when everything he would have misbehaved with was sleeping in the bed across the room from him.

“Shut up,” Justin muttered, though Lance knew that Justin still enjoyed getting babied now and then. “So…there were a lot more people here…at the show.”

“I know. Y’know, I even saw a few signs with my name on them!” Lance said. He still expected to be thrown out of the group at any given moment, so anything that seemed to boost his popularity was quite appealing.

“I know…I paid those girls to hold them up,” Justin said with a straight face. Lance yelped and tackled him, pinning him to his bed and tickling him. Justin gasped for breath. Normally he would have used his height as an advantage over Lance, but when he was tickled he had NO strength.

“Hey, infants,” Joey said, popping into the room. “Okay, am I old enough to see this?”

“Probably not,” Justin said from under Lance, rubbing slightly so Lance could feel the erection that was beginning to form in his jeans. Lance blushed and jumped up.

“I owed him a tickling,” Lance said, trying not to look down at Justin.

“I think we need to go rescue JC from his television. We need to sneak out and get something to eat,” Joey said. “Would your mom mind, J?”

“Nah. If she does, I’ll beg…but I’m thinking she’s beginning to not like Lou so much.” Justin sat up and straightened his shirt.

“Nobody likes Lou much except Lou,” Joey said.

“Why do we need to rescue JC?” Lance asked.

“He found ‘Evita’ on some TV station, and he’s in there bawling his eyes out. They only subtitle it in German, and he already knows every lyric of every song, and he’s singing along.”

“And Chris?” Justin asked.

“Chris is hiding under his pillow, cursing me because I get the single,” Joey said, laughing.

“JC sings good,” Lance said, in his friend’s defense.

“Yeah, but you’d think after seeing the damn movie nine zillion times, he’d figure out that it doesn’t have a happy ending,” Joey replied. “C’mon.”

“I’ll pop in on my mom,” Justin said. “Maybe I can get some money from her.”

Lance followed Joey to Chris and JC’s room. Chris was indeed hiding under his pillow, while JC hugged his pillow to his chest, occasionally sniffling into the sleeve of his shirt. “Hey, Lance.” JC smiled, but his eyes were red and puffy.

“Dude, if we go out in public, you better hope we don’t see a photographer,” Joey said, grabbing JC’s pillow from him and wailing on Chris with it.

“I’m sorry…it’s just…the music…I wanna write like that,” JC sniffled, sighing.

“You will,” Lance promised. “You’re definitely the next Andrew Lloyd Weber.”

“Okay, Mom says cool, so I am outta here,” Justin said triumphantly. “Let’s roll.”

 

Chris threw a friendly arm around Lance’s shoulders and ruffled his hair before moving on to jump on Joey’s back. “I’m sorry,” Lance said to JC. “You have to room with THAT.”

“I won’t say anything about your roommate,” JC teased gently, and Lance turned beet red. “Have you shared my little gift with him yet?”

“Jayce!” Lance whined, hiding his face in his arm.

“I take that as a no,” JC said. “You know I’m just playing with you, Lance.”

“I know…I just…” Lance paused and pulled back a bit, letting the other three hurry ahead of them. “We did fool around…a while ago…and then I didn’t think it was a good idea. I didn’t wanna corrupt him or anything. So I stopped it…then right before we came back here he confronts me…and he was all hurt and rejected. So I let him talk me into it again.”

“You fooled around?” JC asked.

“Touching, that’s it!” Lance insisted, still seeing “Big Mouse” in JC’s eyes.

“You’re not gonna corrupt him, Lance. He’s young, but he’s not an idiot. And Justin has also NEVER been one to give in to peer pressure,” JC said reassuringly. “Promise.”

“I know,” Lance sighed. “I mean, I like it, but…”

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” JC said quickly. “I trust you.”

“Thank you,” Lance said. JC squeezed his shoulder.

“Just don’t tell me you’re gonna surprise him with something on his birthday,” JC said in a pointed tone.

“No…he already WANTS to do that, and I said no way.” Lance blushed a little. “I have something else planned for his gift.”


	12. Chapter 12

AN IDEA  
Twelve

 

“I have an idea,” Joey said, throwing an arm around Justin’s shoulders and kissing his curly head. “Let’s all go out. It’s Germany, and it’s Justin’s birthday. We have a late call tomorrow…it’ll be fun!”

Justin looked over to where his mother and Lance were talking. “I dunno…Mom might not like it.”

“It’s your birthday, J!” Chris said. “She HAS to say yes. We won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Hey, Lance!” Joey called. Lance excused himself and walked over. “We wanna go out tonight,” Joey said, putting another bite of birthday cake into his mouth.

“Chew with your mouth closed,” JC said in disgust. “Interested, Lance? If we all go, Lynn might let Justin go.”

“Actually, Justin can’t go,” Lance said, and Justin felt his heart beat faster. Lance had done nothing to him since their talk, though he had flirted shamelessly when no one else was around. “Justin has someone coming to his room later.”

JC’s mouth fell open, as did Joey’s. “You’re kidding!” Chris whined. “How come when it was MY idea, no one was interested?”

“Because Lance has better taste than you do,” JC said, finally recovering from his shock. He looked at Lance, who didn’t look away. JC then looked at Justin, who was blushing furiously. “Guess it’s good you two are sharing a room, huh?”

“You sharing the visitor, too?” Joey teased, smirking at Lance.

“No. I’ll be crashing with JC tonight,” Lance said. JC nodded.

“Sure, no problem.”

“Hey, it’s good Lynn’s room is kinda far away from yours,” Chris pointed out to Justin.

“Why do you think I made sure she got the nicest room this time?” Lance said.

Joey stared at him. “Man, Lance…sometimes this serious no nonsense side of you comes out and I hardly recognize you!”

“I have a lot of sides you wouldn’t recognize,” Lance said innocently, and JC choked on his soda.

 

“I can’t believe my baby is sixteen,” Lynn said with a sigh, hugging Justin close. “I remember putting diapers on you.”

“Mom!” Justin said, blushing. Lance leaned against the wall of the corridor and said nothing, just grinned.

“Well, I’m sorry.” Lynn wiped away a tear. “I just…you’re my little baby, Justin, and I worry about you.”

“I’m sixteen, now, Mom. I can take care of myself,” Justin said bravely. “I promise.”

“You still need your mama, even at sixteen. Isn’t that right, Lance?” Lynn said over Justin’s shoulder.

“Yes, ma’am. I know there are times that nothing but my momma’s voice can make things better,” Lance said honestly.

“See? Listen to Lance, Justin. He knows a lot more than you.” Lynn kissed Justin one more time, then walked over to give Lance a kiss on the cheek. “Good night, boys. Happy birthday, Justin.”

“Thank you, Mom.” Justin followed Lance into their room. “Sorry about that.”

“Why? She embarrassed you, not me,” Lance said, amused.

“Yeah, well, I know she holds you up like this big example all the time. It’s gotta get annoying,” Justin said, sitting down on his bed.

“I don’t mind. I know a lot more than you, remember?”

“Whatever,” Justin grumbled, hitting Lance with his pillow. “It’s still embarrassing...even for me. I wish she’d quit treating you guys like other adults instead of kids like me.”

“Justin, in case you haven’t noticed, everyone but you and I IS an adult,” Lance teased. “And I only have a few more months, anyway.”

“Quit reminding me,” Justin muttered. “It sucks being the baby.”

“Speaking of which...” Lance went to the tiny radio on the dresser and turned it on. A German pop song filtered into the room. Justin looked at him quizzically. “I didn’t give you your present.”

“Yeah, you did,” Justin said nervously. “You chipped in with everyone else to get me that keyboard.”

“I wanted to give you something special,” Lance said. He turned away from Justin for a moment as he removed his shirt. He had actually read the entire book JC had given him, more than once. He had watched the video secretly, and had taken mental notes. He wanted to make Justin scream. Lance took a few deep breaths to gain some courage, then turned back around. He gave Justin a charming smile. “C’mere.”

Justin obediently walked over to him, swallowing deeply. Lance slowly pulled off Justin’s shirt. “Lance...” Justin whispered. “I thought we’d never...”

“Shhh...” Lance said, putting a finger on Justin’s red lips. “Just relax. I want to do something special for you.”

“Okay,” Justin said. Lance kissed him lightly, then unzipped Justin’s jeans and pushed them down. He took Justin’s boxers along with them and sighed. Justin truly was beautiful. Lance then stood and took off his own jeans. Justin’s eyes widened. “You’re not wearing any...”

“I thought I’d try it,” Lance said, blushing slightly. “It’s different.”

“It’s hot,” Justin said, running a hand down Lance’s chest.

“No no no,” Lance said lightly, grabbing Justin’s hand. “This is YOUR birthday present.” He gave Justin a gentle push until he began to walk backwards towards the bed. Justin’s legs hit it and he sat down. “Relax,” Lance whispered, lightly pushing until Justin was laying down.

Lance ran his hands up the insides of Justin’s thighs, sighing as he looked at the prize nestled between them. He had never looked at anyone else this way before, and he was nervous and scared and excited all at once. His hand slid over to brush against Justin, and Justin let out a loud moan.

“Shh,” Lance hissed. “That’s why the radio’s on. We don’t need anyone to hear this.” He reached up and handed Justin a pillow. “Use this if you have to.”

Justin whimpered and nodded. Lance began to trail kisses up Justin’s legs, then gently kissed Justin’s cock. Justin gasped and clenched at the pillow. Lance smiled, then kissed Justin again. The skin was smooth and hot against his lips. He dragged his lips over the skin slightly and Justin shivered, involuntarily arching up to Lance’s mouth. Lance placed gently hands on Justin’s hips and let his tongue pull from the bottom up. Justin yelped, then shoved the pillow over his face. Lance quickly prayed that Justin wouldn’t suffocate himself, then let his tongue flick over Justin’s head. The pre-cum tasted odd, salty and thick against Lance’s tongue, but he wasn’t disgusted by it the way he thought he might be. Lance slowly pulled just the head into his mouth, letting it fall out with a soft pop. Justin grunted into the pillow, rolling his hips and squirming. Lance heard his name through the fabric and smiled. Obviously what he was doing was right.

Grasping Justin’s hips a bit more firmly, Lance let more and more of Justin slide into his mouth before moving back up again. He knew that this first time was special, and he didn’t want to gag or bite or do something embarrassing. He tried to remember everything he had read or seen, and tried to imagine how it would feel to him. Apparently it would feel good to him, because his own dick was rock hard.

“Lance...oh, Lance...” Justin surfaced for a few breaths of fresh air. “That’s so good...ah...” Lance moved one hand from Justin’s hip to hold his cock as it went in and out of his mouth. “Lance...I might...it’s so fucking good...”

“It’s okay, Justin,” Lance murmured, bending his head to tentatively lick at Justin’s balls.

“Lance!” Justin grabbed at Lance’s head, thrusting up. Lance opened his mouth and Justin shot inside.

Lance tried to swallow but gagged a bit. Justin didn’t seem to notice. He grabbed the pillow and shoved it over his face as he came hard, screaming something unintelligible. When he finally quieted down, Lance pulled up and away. He went to the tiny bathroom and rinsed out his mouth and quickly brushed his teeth. When he returned to the bedroom, Justin was still spread out on the bed, pillow over his face. Lance hoped he hadn’t killed him.

“Justin?” Lance sat on the edge of the bed. A hand reached up and slowly removed the pillow.

“Holy hell,” Justin said weakly. “I thought you meant we were gonna...I mean, that you wanted to...but I’m glad you didn’t. I think you would have killed me.”

Lance smiled and blushed slightly. “Justin, you’re only sixteen. There’s no way we were having sex. But this...I thought...so it was okay?”

“Okay isn’t even in the same universe as this,” Justin told him dramatically, and Lance laughed. “Did you...have you ever...”

“No...I’ve never done it or had it done to me,” Lance told him. “I just...studied a bit.” He didn’t dare tell Justin that JC had given him the things to study. Justin would want to die from embarrassment.

“It sounds lame to say it, but, thank you,” Justin said bashfully.

“You’re welcome.” Lance looked down at the breathless pink boy next to him and couldn’t help but give him a sweet kiss.

“What about you?”

“I, uh...on the floor,” Lance said shamefully. “You were so hot...and I just...I accidentally brushed against myself...”

“Good,” Justin said. “I want this to always be fair.”

“Right,” Lance said, trying not to sound too sad. He knew that no matter what, the two sides of their odd relationship would never be fair.


	13. Chapter 13

AN IDEA  
Thirteen

 

“I have an idea,” Justin said, throwing an arm around Lance’s shoulders. “Let’s go over and ask those girls to dance.” He threw a dazzling smile at the girls in question, and they giggled, burying their faces in each other’s shoulders.

“Weren’t they in the front row?” Joey asked. “I remember that one in the pink shirt.”

“How could you help it?” JC commented. “She was only flashing you every three seconds.”

“Yeah,” Joey said, smiling blissfully. JC sighed and looked at Lance. Lance smiled kindly and squeezed JC’s knee under the table. No matter what had happened or what Joey said to him, JC was still head over heels in love with him, and it would take a long time for JC to finally get over it. Lance was the only person JC would talk about it with.

“C’mon, Lance,” Justin whined, practically falling into Lance’s lap. Lance sighed. He had never seen Justin this drunk before, and he didn’t like it. It was their last night in Europe, and Chris had sweet-talked Lynn into allowing Justin to come out with them. JC had sweet-talked the man at the door into letting Justin in, and Justin had sweet-talked anyone he could into buying him drinks. “That blond has been watching you ALL night.”

“I don’t really care, Justin,” Lance said carefully. He only prayed that Justin wouldn’t say anything revealing in front of Joey and Chris.

“I want a good time, dammit,” Justin said, pounding his fist on the table. “You’re so boring, Lance. Why do I waste time with you?”

Lance knew it was the alcohol talking. He knew Justin didn’t feel that way. Even without everything that happened in the bedroom, he and Justin were close. But it still hurt enough that Lance pulled away and shivered, the pain darting into his heart. “I think it’s the other way around, Justin,” JC snapped, glaring at his youngest brother. “Lance obviously wastes time with YOU.”

“I’ll go over there, Justin,” Joey volunteered. “Hell, why not.”

“Yay!” Justin said happily. He managed to crawl out of the booth, and Joey helped him across the dance floor to the group of girls.

“Where’s Joey and Justin?” Chris asked, coming back to the table with another round of drinks.

“Over there.” JC waved in the general direction of the dance floor. “Getting some, at least in their intoxicated minds.”

“You think maybe Justin’s had too much to drink?” Chris asked, not quite sober himself. Lance snorted and said nothing.

“There are three girls over there, Chris,” JC said suddenly. “Don’t let Joey walk outta here with two.”

“Yeah! Anyway!” Chris stood up, straightened his shirt, and made a beeline for the back of Joey’s head.

“You hating this as much as I am right now?” JC asked Lance. They were the most sober of the group, though the alcohol had loosened them both up enough to have this conversation in a public place.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lance said, stirring his drink. He hoped the ice would melt soon and water it down. He hated to turn it down, since Chris had bought it with his meager pocket change.

“I know about you and Justin, Lance,” JC said.

“Yeah. We screw around. I blew him for his birthday. So what?”

JC blinked for a second, then recovered from this new information. “It’s more than that. I know it is.”

“For one of us,” Lance finally admitted.

“Lance, I know that if Joey marched over here right now, and asked to go to bed with me, I’d let him,” JC said quietly, and Lance stared at him. “I’d let him in a heartbeat, and then tomorrow he’d wake up and want things to be the same. I understand, okay?”

“You just weren’t stupid enough to let things get started,” Lance grumbled.

“I tried more than once,” JC confided. “It’s so hard.”

Lance looked at him and sighed. He briefly laid his head against JC’s bony shoulder, then took a gulp of his drink.

 

“But Joey has girls with him!” Justin whined. “I wanted girls to come back with ME.”

“You can’t, J,” Chris said, stumbling under Justin’s weight. “Your mom would freak.”

“Mebbe she’d be proud of me,” Justin said. “Mebbe she’d see I’m no baby.”

“No one thinks you’re a baby, Justin,” JC said. He and Lance followed a few steps behind Justin and Chris, allowing Chris to take some responsibility for Justin for once.

“You all do. All the time. I’m always stuck back in the room with Lance. Boring Lance. This sucks.” Justin stopped walking and leaned on Chris. “I don’t wanna be stuck back with Lance anymore.”

“Well, once we’re home, you have to be, Justin. Even Lance can’t drink publicly at home,” JC pointed out.

“Can someone help me here?” Chris asked over his shoulder.

“No,” Lance snapped. He turned to JC, who saw the hurt in his eyes. “Can I room with you?”

“No,” Chris interrupted. “I’m rooming with C because Joey the Whore has girls in the room.”

“Room with Justin. I need a good night’s sleep.” Lance grabbed JC’s keycard and disappeared into the room before Chris could protest.

“Good riddance,” Justin said, smiling drunkenly. “Who needs him, anyway?”

“Good night, you guys,” JC said, thankful that Lance hadn’t heard that.

 

Lance pulled out the blanket from the overhead compartment and snuggled down against the window, pulling the shade. He was tired and not feeling very well. He had no energy, and JC kicked in his sleep, causing Lance to wake often during the night. He didn’t care all that much, though, because JC hadn’t said anything. He had given Lance a sweet kiss on the forehead, a comforting hug, and then he had left him alone without trying to give advice.

“Can I sit next to the window?” Justin asked.

Lance glared up at him. “No. I’m already here.”

“Please, Lance? I need to lay my head down against something.” Justin held his head and tried not to look ill as his mother passed by.

“I have a window back here, baby,” Lynn said.

“No. He can have this one.” Lance stood and let Justin slip past him. Justin smiled gratefully.

“You can lean against me.”

“Whatever.” Lance flounced into his seat and fastened his seatbelt as Lynn moved on back to her seat.

“What’s wrong with you?” Justin asked.

“Nothing,” Lance snapped. “Sleep if you’re gonna sleep, or give me the damn window.”

“Okay, okay. Sorry.” Justin snapped his own seatbelt. Lance just hoped Justin would keep quiet so he could fall asleep. Flying was a lot nicer when you slept through it.

“You acted like a real dick last night, Justin,” JC said, poking his head up from the row behind them. “Don’t drink like that until you can handle it. Or, if you do, leave us out of it.”

“Huh?” Justin undid his seatbelt and knelt, turning to look at JC.

“You said a lot of nasty things about Lance, insulted him right to his face. Called him boring and a waste of your time.” JC leaned front and smacked Justin in the back of the head. “Most people tell the truth when they’re drunk, Justin. Think about that.” JC sat back down.

“Jayce,” Lance groaned, holding his head and closing his eyes.

Justin slowly sat down, staring at Lance in horror. “Did…did I say that?”

“Go to sleep,” Lance said.

“Lance,” Justin persisted.

“YES.” Lance buried himself in his blanket. “Okay?”

Justin sat back down, got buckled in, and got comfortable against the window. He then reached under Lance’s blanket for Lance’s arm and pulled him until he was laying against Justin’s side. Justin fumbled under the blanket and found Lance’s hand. He intertwined his fingers with Lance’s and looked at Lance out of the corner of his eye. “I am really, really sorry, Lance. I didn’t mean it,” Justin promised, and Lance wasn’t surprised to see a tear in Justin’s eye. Justin was one of the most kind-hearted people Lance knew, and Lance knew that Justin felt horrible for treating him that way.

“It’s okay,” Lance sighed, hoping Justin would drop it.

“No. It’s not. But I didn’t mean it.” Justin pulled Lance’s hand onto his thigh and continued to hold it as he dropped off.


	14. Chapter 14

AN IDEA  
Fourteen  
1998

 

“I have an idea,” Lance said, jogging down the hallway to the playroom. “Justin?” He went through the open doorway. “Oh. Sorry.”

“No problem. I was just showing Brit here how to play the piano,” Justin said, leaning back on the piano bench. They had a small playroom at every venue, and JC made sure there was some sort of piano or keyboard at his beck and call.

“And I’m totally clueless on it!” She said with a giggle. “I think I better stick to song and dance.”

“Maybe so,” Justin said, and she giggled again, shoving him.

“Oh, Lance, how do you put up with him?”

“It’s a hardship,” Lance said, trying to smile. “I’ll catch you later, Justin.”

“Is something wrong?” Justin asked, concerned.

“Nah. Just needed to talk to ya. I’ll get ya later.” Lance turned on one heel and went back towards the arena. The musicians were beginning to warm up a bit, and he decided to take a stroll around the seats.

Britney Spears was on tour with them as an opening act. JC and Justin both knew her from the Mickey Mouse Club, of course, and everyone adored her. She was cute and funny, and could actually dance, though her singing left something to be desired. Chris loved to make her giggle, which she did often. Joey flirted with her, and JC danced with her. Only Lance seemed to be above her charms. Justin, of course, spent every waking moment with her. It was nice for him to be with someone near his own age. Lance, of course, wished that she could have been a BOY near Justin’s age, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Lance climbed some steps and began to walk up and down the aisles, tapping the tops of chairs as he went. He and Justin still had a relationship, if you wanted to call it that. They talked, they hung out, and they did things. Things that were done in the heat of the dark, with warm hands and slick tongues and all kinds of moaning. It had gone on that way for the last two years. Justin still proclaimed that he wasn’t gay, that he didn’t like men. But he had NO problem hooking up with Lance on a regular basis.

Lance knew it was wrong for them both. It would only confuse Justin to continue, and it was not healthy for Lance at all. It was just so convenient, though. Justin was there, ready and eager. For Lance it was more than that, though Justin would never EVER know this. JC had even stopped talking to Lance about it, because Lance had become silent on the whole matter. If Justin wanted to flirt with little dancing girls, that was fine with him. It was only sex for Lance. Absolutely. Only sex…though they hadn’t exactly HAD sex, not yet. It was something that Lance had waited for. He hadn’t done anything with anyone but Justin in all that time, and now Justin was going on eighteen. Part of Lance wanted to proposition Justin, ask him to do this special act. But he felt as if he were using Justin, when all Justin was doing was having a good time. He was confused, and there was no one he could talk to about it.

“Lance!” Justin called, taking the steps two at a time. His long legs easily cleared the distance. “Are you okay?”

“I said I was fine, Justin,” Lance said patiently. Ever since that night long ago when Justin had gotten drunk and said those things about Lance, Justin had been extra careful about how he treated Lance. He always worried about Lance, if he was okay or mad or upset. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“It’s okay. We were just fooling around.” Lance raised an eyebrow. “Not like THAT,” Justin said, blushing. “She doesn’t…I mean…”

“Oh…you would KNOW, then?” Lance tried to tease.

“No! You know that! I just…uh…hear stuff. And she told me that, once. I think…she may like me.”

“Duh, Justin,” Lance said. “It’s no big secret. Do you like her?”

“She’s not why I came after you,” Justin said, dismissing the subject. “I wanted to know what was up.”

“I was just thinking about your birthday. We actually have the weekend off after your birthday…and I thought we could go away.”

“Go away? You and me?” Justin gasped.

“Yeah. Nowhere special…maybe just to Miami for the weekend. I have some savings…”

“That would be so cool…like grownups or something,” Justin said, smiling. Eighteen was a very big deal to him, though Joey and Chris still called him The Infant.

“Yeah,” Lance said. He closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed at his eyes.

“Are you SURE you’re okay? You look tired,” Justin said.

“I am. I was looking over some money stuff…you’d be bored,” Lance told him. They still shared rooms in the hotels, but the hotels were a little nicer now that they were getting somewhere. Lance and Justin didn’t share ALL the time, but they made sure to as often as possible.

“Money stuff?” Justin wrinkled his nose.

“Don’t worry about it,” Lance said, and Justin didn’t have to. Lance was worried enough for all five of them. “So…I should set it up?”

“Yeah…that’d be great.” Justin beamed at him. “Happy birthday to me!”

“Let’s hope so,” Lance murmured to himself with a sigh as Justin bounced back down the stairs.


	15. Chapter 15

AN IDEA  
Fifteen

 

“I have an idea,” Justin said, getting out of the car and stretching. “Let’s just live here and never go back.”

“I only have the house for the weekend, Justin,” Lance said, but he understood. Life was getting crazier and crazier for them, and it was hard to find these weekends of peace and quiet.

“This is beautiful,” Justin sighed, looking out at the blue water that was basically their front yard. “Thanks, Lance.”

“Well, you don’t turn eighteen every day,” Lance said, opening the trunk and getting out his bag and Justin’s.

“I’m sorry your birthday wasn’t all that memorable,” Justin said. Lance hadn’t been feeling well, but the other four had partied for him.

“I’m sure it wasn’t…since you were drunk off your ass,” Lance teased.

“I was not!” Justin retorted. “I, uh, didn’t say anything, did I?”

“No, you didn’t,” Lance promised. “And it was fun watching you flirt with Chris.”

“I didn’t,” Justin said, but his heart wasn’t in it. Lance laughed out loud.

“C’mon. Let’s go in and check this place out.” Lance unlocked the front door and let them in. The beach house was small, but it was clean. There were two bedrooms and a bathroom on the second floor. On the first floor was a small kitchen, a living room, a room to clean off after spending time at the beach, and a tiny bathroom with just a toilet and sink.

“Like I said, let’s just live here and never go back,” Justin said, falling onto the sofa with a sigh.

“You really could give it all up?” Lance asked.

“Sometimes. Times like this, or times when everyone’s grabbing at me…I could just end it right there. Otherwise, I don’t think so,” Justin admitted.

“Of course not. You love it, and you’re good at it,” Lance said. “Let’s go up and pick rooms.”

Justin followed Lance upstairs. “But, I thought…” Justin stopped in the hallway, blushing.

Lance turned around. “You thought what?

“I thought we’d, uh, share,” Justin said, looking at his feet. “Unless you don’t want to.”

“You’re stuck sharing with someone all the time,” Lance said softly. “I thought you might want space.”

“I don’t want space,” Justin said, finally meeting Lance’s gaze. Lance smiled.

“Good. Let’s take this one, then,” Lance said, motioning to the bedroom in front of him.

 

There was an intimate little Italian restaurant near the house, and they walked there after resting and getting cleaned up. The dining room was dark, and they knew they wouldn’t be recognized. They weren’t people who everyone in America might recognize, not yet, but being in their home state held its disadvantages.

“I wish we could get some wine or something,” Justin said after they had placed their order. Lance raised an eyebrow.

“Wine? JC’s been rubbing off on you.”

“No…I don’t exactly LIKE it yet…but it just seems right in a place like this.” Justin looked around.

“A bottle of red…a bottle of white…” Lance sang softly under his breath.

“…It all depends upon your appetite,” Justin finished for him.

“You KNOW that song?”

“I like Billy Joel. The things that man can do at a keyboard,” Justin said, shaking his head. “I think JC secretly wants to BE him.”

“JC’s definitely talented enough,” Lance agreed.

They chit-chatted until the food came, and then they ate with very few words between them. Lance couldn’t help but watch Justin in the light from the small candle on their table. He wondered if this was a good idea. He wasn’t sure if Justin was still interested, and if he’d be willing to take this “all the way,” for lack of a better term.

“So, do you want dessert?” Lance asked as Justin scraped his plate clean. “Birthday cake or something?”

“No, thank you,” Justin said, imagining the entire restaurant singing “Happy Birthday” to him. “Let’s just go back. I’m full.”

“Okay.” Lance paid the check and they headed back out.

“I really appreciate this weekend, Lance. I have a feeling this whole NSYNC thing is gonna snowball into something huge.”

“It’s what we wanted, right?”

“Yeah, but, y’know, it’s scary. I like to daydream about being millionaires, and all that, like buying my mom a Harley or something, but everything else…it’s like…”

“It’s like whoa,” Lance finished for him, smiling.

“Though I feel like we’ve worked our asses off so far, and aren’t seeing much money. Maybe we never WILL be that big, Lance.”

Lance bit his tongue on that subject as he unlocked the door of the house. He had a feeling they SHOULD have that much money, but he couldn’t put his finger on where the loophole was. “So…did you enjoy your birthday dinner?”

“Yes. It was SO good,” Justin said. “It only woulda been better if my grandmother was here to cook for me.”

“Good,” Lance said, smiling. “Happy birthday.”

“Even though it’s not until tomorrow?”

“Happy Pre-Birthday,” Lance said, and Justin laughed. Then he grew somber, leaning against the wall near the front door.

“So, when do I get my present?”

“Present?” Lance asked innocently.

“I’m thinking you brought me here because you wanted me alone, away from everyone,” Justin said with a devilish smirk that irritated Lance.

“No, I brought you here because I thought it would be a nice change for you.” Lance started up the steps.

“Uh, Lance, wait! I’m sorry! Did I make you mad or something?” Justin raced after Lance. “It IS nice. I’m loving it, okay?” Lance went into the bedroom and turned the light on. “Lance, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sound like a pervert or something.”

Lance turned around and looked at Justin, who was standing in the doorway, biting at his bottom lip. He looked so delicious, so concerned and hurt and sexy all at once. Lance crossed the room in three steps and pressed Justin against the door. “Maybe I AM a pervert,” Lance grumbled in Justin’s ear, and Justin moaned slightly. “Maybe I just lured you here to have my way with your hot body.”

“Okay,” Justin said immediately, and Lance had to laugh.

“Man, it’s hard having to twist your arm like that,” Lance said, pulling back.

“We’re all alone, for like the first time in forever.” Justin fisted his hands in Lance’s shirt and buried his face in Lance’s neck, inhaling his cologne. “No interruptions, no one on the other side of the wall.” He licked at Lance’s throat, then nibbled on his earlobe. “That’s something special.”

“Yeah, it is.” Lance kissed Justin hungrily. “And we have all of tomorrow and the next day.”

“MMmmm…” Justin tilted his head to give Lance access to his neck as he tugged at Lance’s shirt. Clothing fell to the floor as they continued to kiss in the doorway.

“Bed,” Lance murmured, breaking the kiss and pulling at Justin’s arm.

They fell to the bed, familiar with the way their bodies melted together. “Lance,” Justin gasped as Lance kissed across his chest, licking at his nipples as he fondled Justin. “I want this so bad…all of it.”

Lance stopped and pulled back. “You do?”

“Yeah.” Justin blinked at the shock on Lance’s face. “What?”

“And you’ve never done this before…not even with a girl?”

“No, Lance, I told you that. I could have…and I’ve done SOME stuff…but no…I want this with you,” Justin said softly, blushing a little.

“Um, okay. I just…I thought you wouldn’t…okay…” Lance rolled off of Justin and grabbed for his bag. “I brought some stuff, you know, just in case…and from what I’ve read it should be easy for you…I mean, like doing it to a girl or whatever, and you’ve watched porn, I know, and…”

“Stop babbling.” Justin kissed Lance, then lay back on the bed. “Go ahead.”

“Go ahead what?”

“Go ahead and…you KNOW.” Justin blushed again. “Go.”

“Me?” Lance actually squeaked.

“Is there someone else in here?” Justin leaned over and pretended to look under the bed. Lance slapped his bare ass.

“Stop it. I thought…you’d be doing it to…to me.”

“Oh. Well, no.” Justin looked at Lance with total trust. “You’re doing it. I want you to, uh, make love, uh, to me.”

“Oh.” Lance blinked. “Make love, huh?”

“Well, it sounded better,” Justin said defensively. “So?” Justin laid back and smiled at him. Lance gulped.

“Okay.” Lance set the lubricant down by Justin’s hip and moved up to kiss him. He gently caressed Justin’s body as he kissed lower and lower. Justin squirmed, accustomed to the wonderful feelings but still enjoying them as much as ever. Lance settled himself between Justin’s legs and began to kiss up his thighs. “Remember to relax,” Lance whispered, letting his hand caress Justin’s balls briefly before pushing at Justin’s hips so he could stuff a pillow under him.

“Right…relax…I can…oh, GOD…” Justin gasped as Lance nervously let a finger trail over his entrance. “Do…do that again.”

Lance chuckled quietly and did it again. Justin instinctively drew his legs up so his feet were flat on the bed and his knees were bent. Lance traced tiny circles around Justin, and he whimpered. Lance pulled his finger back and sucked on the tip, then returned to what he had been doing. Justin whimpered against, thrusting and twisting. Lance held him still with one hand on his hip, and playfully sucked at his cock as his finger teased.

“Lance…more…please…” Justin begged. Lance pulled back and opened the tube of lubricant. He squirted a healthy dose onto two fingers, then slowly teased Justin again with one of them. When Justin was gasping for breath once more, Lance slowly let the fingertip slide inside. Justin let out a surprised squeak, and began to freeze up.

“Relax,” Lance murmured. Justin nodded and slowly fell back to the mattress again. Lance was able to slide his finger completely inside. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just, weird…” Lance slid the finger in, then out again, letting it wiggle a bit as he moved it. Suddenly a hand clamped down on his shoulder. “Don’t…oh my God…Lance, right THERE…”

“Here?” Lance let the finger wiggle a bit and Justin panted. Lance smiled and pulled out, making sure to hit that spot a few more times before adding a second finger. Justin didn’t even seem to notice the fact that there was a second finger…he simply moaned and clutched at Lance’s shoulders, his head, anywhere he could reach.

“Lance, fuck me,” Justin begged. Lance pulled away and knelt between Justin’s legs.

“Justin, are you ABSOLUTELY sure about this? I’m serious…do you REALLY want this to happen? I mean, do you want…me…to be your first?”

“Yes,” Justin said, nodding, and Lance saw the trust once more. “Please, Lance, please.”

Lance grabbed the lubricant once more and began to slick himself up. He moaned as his hand came in contact with his skin; he had been hard since he had started to work on Justin. “Justin,” he whispered, looking down at the red-faced boy beneath him. “If I hurt you…”

“Just do it,” Justin interrupted.

Lance took a hold of himself with one hand, and lightly held Justin’s leg with the other. He fumbled slightly, trying to find the right angle to start to move inside. Justin bit his bottom lip as Lance slowly pushed inside. It was so tight it was almost painful for Lance, so he could hardly imagine what it was like for Justin. Inch by inch Lance worked his way in, practically holding his breath. He saw one tear leak from Justin’s closed eyes, and he immediately felt miserable. “Justin…”

“Keep going, Lance,” Justin said through clenched teeth.

“No, Justin…I’m…I’m in,” Lance said. Justin pressed his palms against the bed and took a few deep breaths, trying to relax. When Justin finally nodded, Lance slowly pulled out, then slid inside.

“Does…does it feel good?” Justin whispered.

“Oh, Justin…you’re hot and tight…” Lance let his head fall back as he set a slow rhythm. “I can’t…I’ve never…”

“Oh!” Justin’s eyes flew open in surprise. “You hit that spot again. Do it again.”

Lance concentrated, and could tell from Justin’s gasp that he had found exactly the right angle. He sped up slightly, and Justin was able to put his hands on Lance’s hips. “Justin…” Lance groaned. “I can’t…I can’t wait…you’re…”

“Go ahead,” Justin whimpered, reaching to slowly jerk himself.

“Ah…” Lance let out a low grunt, and came inside Justin. He was barely able to hold himself up as he felt his cock throb and twitch. He slowly pulled out and slapped Justin’s hands away. He bent down and licked and sucked Justin frantically, but it didn’t take long. Justin was soon holding him by the hair and shooting into his mouth.

Lance moved away and went to the bathroom. He came back with a damp washcloth, which he used to carefully clean Justin off. He tossed the washcloth on the floor and looked at Justin, who was lying with his eyes closed. “Are…are you okay?”

“Yes,” Justin said quietly.

“I’m sorry…if this was wrong, or if it hurt you, or if…”

“Shh,” Justin said, opening his eyes. “You didn’t do anything WRONG, Lance. It was amazing. It…I can see why you’d want to be gay, if you did that all the time.” Lance blushed. “And it hurt some, yeah, but I know it can only get better. And if it was THIS amazing the first time…” Lance blushed deeper. Justin yawned and stretched. “I’m tired.”

“I’m gonna, uh, take a shower.” Lance slowly stood. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

“You didn’t traumatize me for life, Lance, I promise,” Justin said with his beautiful smile. Lance turned and went to the bathroom. He turned on the water, stepped into the shower, and just leaned his forehead against the wall for a very long time.


	16. Chapter 16

AN IDEA  
Sixteen

 

“I have an idea,” Joey said. “Let’s all go out for dinner.”

“Let’s not,” Lance said tiredly, running a hand over his forehead. “These rehearsals have been killing me, and I have some stuff to do.”

“I kinda have plans,” Justin said softly, and they all turned to look at him.

“Oh, yeah?” Chris asked curiously.

“Yeah. I, uh…I have a date.” Justin blushed and studied his feet.

“Good for you!” Joey yelled, slapping Justin on the back. Lance pasted on a smile and tried to look interested.

“It’s more than that.” Justin looked everywhere but at Lance. “I…well…me and Britney. We’re a thing. Like, together.”

“Of course you are,” Chris said, staring at him. “Like we hadn’t figured that out yet.”

“Well, WE hadn’t even decided,” Justin snapped back. “It’s just…now it’s official, but we’re not TELLING anyone.”

“Kinda like Lance and Danielle,” JC said quickly. Lance tried not to let his mouth fall open.

“Lance and who?” Justin asked.

“Topanga, silly,” Chris said, shoving Justin. “Ya know, the cutie who has become Lance’s new shadow?”

Everyone looked at Lance, who turned crimson. “Yeah, well, I didn’t think I needed to broadcast it.”

“You don’t have to,” Joey said, laughing. “She’ll do it for you. She’s head over heels for you, dude.”

“It’s hard being so popular, isn’t it, Lance?” JC teased gently.

“So, did we ever decide on dinner?” Joey asked.

“No for me,” Justin said.

“And me,” Lance said. “And, Chris, I’d kinda like to talk to you about something, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure. We can order in,” Chris said. “Lemme get my stuff.”

Chris, Justin and Joey headed for the shower, while JC pulled on Lance’s arm. “I’m sorry, Lance, but I…”

“It’s okay, JC. I know you were just trying to help,” Lance said. “She DOES hang around a lot, doesn’t she?”

“It’s working out for you, though,” JC said. “Good cover up.”

“Right.” Lance blinked hard, but JC saw the tear fall onto Lance’s dirty sneaker.

“C’mon, Lance. It’s okay,” JC said, rubbing Lance’s shoulder.

“I know. I mean, he’s straight, right, and, ya know…” Lance bit his bottom lip. “It’s just…back on his birthday…we…well…we had sex. And we have a few times since then. And I guess I thought that cemented something. Boy, was I stupid.”

“No, you’re not,” JC promised. “I’m sorry, Lance.”

“Oh, well.” Lance shrugged and put on the “I don’t care” mask that he was learning to wear so well. “I gotta get changed and meet up with Chris. I’ll catch you later, okay?”

 

“So, Bass, what’s shaking?” Chris asked as he came in the door of Lance’s small house.

“I need to show you something.” Lance led Chris to the dining room table, which was covered in paper.

“Did it snow paper in here?” Chris joked, moving a stack of notebooks and sitting down.

“Read this.” Lance shoved a paper in Chris’ face. Chris took it, still smiling. He stopped smiling about three lines down.

“We sold a bazillion records. Everyone loves us,” Chris whispered.

“And we’re not seeing shit. I’ve had my doubts…but I talked with my mom and Justin’s mom, actually, and then decided I needed to talk to you.” Lance felt a weight slip off his shoulders. “I knew you’d believe me.”

“Jesus, Lance…he’s been fucking robbing us blind.” Chris slapped the paper on the table and stood. “We trusted him. We let him run our lives. He…JC…” Chris closed his eyes. “And I brought us all to him.”

“Chris, no. I promise, this isn’t your fault!” Lance insisted. “Do you even know how long I’ve been reading and rereading this stuff? It isn’t something that just jumps out and bites you. I’ve been stressing over it for months now…and here it is.”

“What can we do?” Chris whispered.

“We can talk to the other guys and decide from there. I think…I think Johnny’s not involved. This is all Lou and TransCon,” Lance said. “Johnny’s been good to us. We find a new label and we get our asses away from Lou.”

“Right.” Chris nodded. “But tonight we get drunk. Let’s find somewhere to go.”

“Chris, I can’t. I’m not old enough,” Lance protested.

Chris ignored him. “We’ll call JC. He always has good booze at his place.”

 

JC didn’t seem too surprised to see Lance and Chris on his doorstep. He raised an eyebrow at the large bottle of vodka that Lance was carrying, but didn’t say anything. He simply got out glasses as well as some alcohol of his own, and poured munchies into bowls for later.

Chris was often an angry drunk, and JC and Lance were both relieved when he passed out early. He had spent most of the evening spewing hateful curse words regarding Lou and life in general, and JC thankfully covered him with a blanket and put a bowl on the floor near the sofa, just in case Chris got sick.

“C’mon, Lance. Let’s get you up to the guest room. You don’t get too sick when you drink, so I can trust you on my sheets,” JC said, helping Lance up the steps.

“He’s gonna fuck her,” Lance said as he stumbled, and JC knew who he meant. “He will, and what I did will mean nothing.”

“It won’t mean nothing, Lance,” JC said. “You never forget your first. It doesn’t matter how good or bad it is, and I know it was good for Justin.”

Through his haze, Lance remembered exactly who JC’s first had probably been, and he hugged JC tight. “Can you sleep with me, Jayce?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” JC said. “You’ll be hung over tomorrow and I’ll just bug you.”

“No, Jayce, please,” Lance begged. He kept his arm around JC’s neck and pulled him towards the bed. “You understand. You know what it’s like.” Lance began to quietly cry. “You know…”

“Okay, Lance, okay. Just get undressed,” JC said. He pulled off his shoes and stripped to his boxers. Lance carefully got undressed and climbed into the bed. JC slipped under the covers.

“I hate him,” Lance decided. “Why did I let him do this to me?”

“You can’t blame him,” JC said, though he knew Lance pretty much wouldn’t remember anything he was saying.

“I love you, JC.” Lance turned his face to JC’s and sweetly kissed him on the lips. JC stared in shock. Lance pulled back, opened his eyes, and smiled. “I love you now.” He kissed JC again, then rolled over, pressing his back to JC and snuggling close.


	17. Chapter 17

AN IDEA  
Seventeen

 

“I have an idea,” Chris said, leaning in the doorway of the guest room. JC stirred and opened his eyes, realizing that his arms were wrapped around Lance, and that Lance was snuggled close to his chest. “Why don’t you two explain to me what the HELL is going on here?”

“Why don’t YOU explain to US why you don’t have a hangover and can yell like that?” Lance mumbled against JC’s chest. He opened his eyes and realized his position. “Oh. OH.” He pulled away and blushed, remembering EXACTLY what he had said before dropping off the night before. He couldn’t meet JC’s gaze. “Uh, Chris, we have a lot to work on before we talk to the other guys. Why don’t you get home and clean up, I’ll call a cab and get home, and we can call an impromptu group meeting at my place for lunch?”

“How can you think business at a time like this?” Chris snapped. “I just found you in bed with JC, who, for all I know, took advantage of you while you were drunk, since I know DAMN well…”

“Chris!” Lance yelled, wincing as the noise echoed in his brain. “It’s NOT like that and that ISN’T what happened. Go home, okay, and quit playing Daddy. I’ll talk to you about it at our meeting.”

“Fine.” Chris left the room, grumbling about secrets and evil bandmembers taking advantage of younger bandmembers.

“Fuck.” Lance sat up and swung his legs over the bed. “Headaches are a bitch, and this is the ONE day I need to be in control.”

“What’s going on, Lance?” JC asked softly, choosing to ignore everything that had happened just a few short hours before.

“Something me and Chris need to tell you guys all together, okay?” Lance stood. “I’m gonna call a cab.”

“No, Lance, for God’s sake, I’ll drive you. It’s just a short drive, and then I’ll come back later.”

“Thank you,” Lance said gratefully. Any other day, he would have offered to just have JC hang out until lunch, but he needed time alone. He needed to think. He slowly stood, then turned to look at JC. “I’m sorry…about kissing you. It was…I just…it was wrong.”

“It’s okay, Lance. You needed someone,” JC said, smiling as he got up. He gave his friend a hug. “You were right. I DO understand. I know what it’s like to love someone so much, and realize you have to settle for something else.”

“Being with you would NOT be settling for anything,” Lance told him, and JC turned slightly pink. “Anyway, thank you.”

“No problem,” JC said. “Just go wash your face or something, and we’ll get on the road.”

 

Lance stood in his shower for almost an hour, not even noticing the water running cold. So many thoughts were running through his brain, and he really needed to focus on the money situation. But Justin…he couldn’t get Justin out of his head. Justin HAD been hanging with Britney a whole lot, but he had just assumed it was because they were old friends. And Justin was never one to turn down the opportunity to hang out with a cute girl. Lance had to admit that she was cute. But…it had obviously turned to more, and Justin hadn’t been able to tell him, which hurt in a different way. Under it all, Lance had assumed they were good friends. But then again, Justin had felt the need to announce it after rehearsal the day before, so he hadn’t officially told anyone yet. It just hurt that Justin had slept with Lance while forming this relationship with Britney, without even thinking twice. Though, Lance realized, Justin probably just saw it as sex. He wasn’t stupid like Lance.

Then there was JC. He couldn’t believe he had kissed JC. He vaguely remembered it, and he remembered telling JC he LOVED him. How embarrassing. JC had been so nice about it…just like with everything else. Why couldn’t he fall for JC? At least he was GAY.

Lance almost fell out of the shower at the thought. Why COULDN’T he fall for JC? He and JC had a lot in common, and JC WAS attractive…and JC might just love him back someday. They could help each other get over Joey and Justin…it was perfect.

 

“Wait a minute.” Joey rubbed his eyes and looked at the paper Lance had given him. Lance had summarized his findings in a way that he knew the others would understand. “You’re saying that basically Lou stole money from us?”

“More like he just didn’t bother giving it to us,” Lance said. “He can put in all the fine print he wants, but he still owes us more than we’ve gotten.”

“What do we do?” Justin asked quietly. He hadn’t said much during the meeting, and Lance knew it was because part of his adolescent world had crashed around him. Lance understood. It had happened to him more and more as he researched the money situation.

“We have a few options, but Lance and I think that, bottom line, we should stay with Johnny as our manager,” Chris said. “He’s been up front with us. Otherwise…I say we sue Lou’s fat ass.”

“Sue?” JC said weakly. “Really?”

“Look, Jayce, I know you don’t like the business side of this.” Lance got on his knees in front of JC. “But this is us. This is our blood, sweat and tears, here. He used us and we got crap.”

“I know, but…court?” JC said. “What about our music?”

“C’mere. Excuse us, guys,” Lance said. He took JC’s hand and dragged him into the kitchen. “You gotta trust us, JC. I mean, how much of what we’ve done so far is really OUR music, anyway? We can do a new album…a BETTER album, where we can get some of your stuff in the track listing…and some of Justin’s.” Lance only faltered for a moment. “We need to fight for what’s ours, Jayce. We can do it.”

“You think so?” JC said. “I’m not a fighter.”

“You will be with us,” Lance said. “We’re a family, remember?”

“Right.” JC nodded and slowly smiled. “Aggressive Business Lance. Nice to meet you.”

Lance blushed. “JC, I was thinking. Would you…uh…would you wanna hook up sometime? Go out or something?”

JC’s mouth fell open. “What?”

“JC, I know we both love…well…others. But we get along so well, and I…well…I’ve always thought you were cute.” Lance realized he sounded about thirteen years old and blushed again. “You’ve always been there for me, and a part of me has never forgotten that.”

“I don’t want you to settle for…”

“Didn’t we already cover that?” Lance said, poking him. “We’ll start out slow. C’mon. Let’s show those bastards.”

“You’re using me to make Justin jealous?” JC asked, frowning.

“Nothing can make Justin jealous because he never realized he had me in the first place,” Lance pointed out. “C’mon, JC.”

“We can try,” JC said, torn between thinking it was a really bad idea and thinking how interesting it could be to try.

“Good.” Lance took JC by the hand and drug him back to the living room. “Guys? I have to tell you something.”

“Yeah?” Chris said, looking at JC.

“I’m, well, gay. I’ve been gay for, well, ever. But I thought you should know that Danielle is just a cover, because, well, I’m with JC.”

Justin’s mouth fell open. “WHAT?”

“Yeah.” Lance stared at him defiantly, not bothering to think about the fact that he was bending the truth slightly. “Anyone have a problem with that?”

“Hell, no. Better JC than some loser,” Chris said quickly. Justin turned red and looked at his shoes.

“I knew all along,” Joey declared, and Lance jumped on him and began to punch.


	18. Chapter 18

AN IDEA  
Eighteen

 

“I have an idea,” Lou said, clapping Chris on the back. “Why don’t we just sit down and talk about this?”

“No,” Lance said, and Lou looked at him in surprise. “We just wanted to talk to you before our lawyers talk with your lawyers.”

“Do you realize all I’ve DONE for you boys?” Lou growled.

“Yes. And we do appreciate that.” By now everyone was staring at Lance. Lance looked at JC. “And we also know what you’ve done TO us. Right now, however, we’re only concentrating on THIS thing you’ve done. We know, and you’re going to pay.”

“Lance Bass, who the hell do you think you are?” Lou said, walking over and getting in Lance’s face. “When I met you, you were just some naïve little country boy who didn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.”

“And you’d know ALL about little boys’ asses, wouldn’t you, Lou?” Lance stormed out of the boardroom. JC hurried after him.

“Lance!”

“I know, JC. I shouldn’t have said that. But I kept thinking about what he did to you…” Lance’s hands clenched into fists.

JC smiled. After looking up and down the hallway, he took Lance’s face in his hands and kissed him. “My knight in shining armor.”

Lance blushed. He and JC had only been “together” for two days, and it was all still so new. But it was nice to finally be with someone who was willing to meet him halfway.

They were startled when the boardroom door flew open and Lou and his assistants burst into the hallway. He said nothing, but he gave them an evil glare as they strode by. JC and Lance returned to the boardroom.

“Let’s eat,” Joey said.

“You’re ALWAYS hungry,” Chris said.

“I know, but when I’m nervous I’m REALLY hungry,” Joey said. He looked at Lance. “You were great.”

“Yeah, he was,” JC said, squeezing Lance’s shoulder. “Lunch is on me, guys.”

“Whoa! The cheapskate is offering to pay?” Chris gasped.

“Can I catch a ride with you, Lance?” Justin asked shyly. “I came in with Joey, and his car reeks.”

“It does not!” Joey yelled.

“Uh, sure,” Lance said, after exchanging a look with JC.

They decided on where to meet, and Justin followed Lance to his car. “So…you and JC,” Justin said before Lance even had the key in the ignition.

“Yeah,” Lance said slowly.

“I was worried, you know, about telling you about me and Brit, but I guess it didn’t matter,” Justin said softly.

“J, what we had was good. We both learned a lot. But we’re ready to move on,” Lance said bravely.

“Right,” Justin said, nodding. “But, JC? I just, whoa, that was a shock. So you guys have been together all this time?”

“No!” Lance said quickly, trying not to put his heart into his voice. “I wasn’t ever with anyone but you.”

“Really?” Justin whispered. Lance nodded. “Oh. I mean, I wasn’t, like, sexually or whatever, either, but…whoa. I hope you and JC are really happy together,” Justin finished, but he didn’t sound truly happy.

“Me, too,” Lance said, starting the car.

 

“What’s all this?” Lance asked, surprised. He stared at JC’s dining room table.

“I didn’t cook it,” JC said quickly. “I ordered out…but I thought you’d like it.”

“This is, wow,” Lance said. He sat down, looking at the food on the plates and the candles in the center of the table. “Romantic.”

“Yeah, well, I’m kinda like that.” JC blushed and sat down.

“I like it,” Lance told him, and JC blushed again. They talked as they ate, but things still seemed stilted between them.

JC poured them glasses of wine, and they moved to the living room. “So, that meeting yesterday with Lou was pretty intense,” JC said. “I’m kinda worried.”

“Our lawyers will handle it,” Lance told him. “You just keep writing those awesome songs, and we can start on our new album.”

“How was riding with Justin?” JC asked carefully.

“Good, he just wanted to know what was going on with you and I,” Lance said, swirling the wine in his glass. “I told him that what he and I had had was nice, but we were both ready to move on.”

“Are you?” JC asked.

“Jayce…”

“No, you need to be sure.”

“Can you tell me you’re over Joey?” Lance retorted.

JC sighed. “I don’t think I’ll ever be over Joey.”

“I bet that if he ever decided to look at a man, it would be you,” Lance said. JC smiled.

“You’re sweet. And I think that, sometimes, but I don’t dwell on it.”

“I don’t dwell on Justin, either,” Lance said firmly.

“I don’t believe that,” JC said softly. “You’ll never be willing to have me in his place, Lance.”

“But…”

“Let’s just not take this as forever, okay?” JC cupped Lance’s face with his hand. “Let’s just take this one step at a time.”

Lance was amazed that JC’s touch could have such an effect on him, but it had been so long. He sighed and leaned in for the kiss that he knew would erase Justin from his mind…for the time being.


	19. Chapter 19

AN IDEA  
Nineteen

 

“I have an idea!” Britney said, clutching Lance’s arm. “It’s not very often we’re all together…let’s go out tonight! Me and Justin, and you and whoever you’re seeing, and JC and his girl, and…”

“Brit, I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” Justin interrupted, and she stopped talking. Lance realized that Justin hadn’t told her about JC and Lance.

“But we could grab a bite and go dancing,” she said, pouting. “I know you don’t want to tell the world about us, Justin, but, c’mon! You guys need SOMETHING to cheer you up. Maybe Joey and Kelly or whoever his flavor of the month could come.”

“Uh…” Lance said, not knowing quite WHAT to say.

“Babe, lemme talk to you for a sec, okay?” Justin said. He took her arm and led her out of his living room and into the kitchen.

“What’s going on?” JC asked, returning from the bathroom. He and Lance had come over to hang out with Justin and Britney, at Justin’s request. He still didn’t know quite how to deal with a full-time girlfriend, and he preferred to hang out with her in a group.

“Britney wanted us all to go out. Her and Justin, me and my current girlfriend, and you and YOUR girl.”

“So you’re my girl now?” JC asked, amused. Lance didn’t smile.

“Apparently Justin didn’t tell her, and apparently the way we act together isn’t obvious enough,” Lance said.

“Oh.” JC sat down next to Lance. “Do you care if she knows?”

“No…of course not. I expect Chris to tell Dani and I know Joey already told Kelly. I don’t care about the people who are close to us. And Britney is one of us, so I thought.”

“I wonder why Justin hasn’t told her,” JC mused. “I mean, I thought he of all people would be okay with this.”

“Thank you,” Lance said softly. JC stared at him.

“For what?”

“For never telling Joey and Chris about me and Justin…and for not teasing us about it.”

“Lance, why would I tell? And why would I make fun of you?” JC rubbed his finger back and forth along a wrinkle in his jeans. “I’ve known I was gay forever…but my first time with another man wasn’t that good…and then there was the whole Lou thing…I was just glad you two found each other and could experience things slowly.”

“But we’re not both gay,” Lance corrected.

“Right,” JC said. He looked at Lance. Lance looked at him. JC leaned forward and slowly rubbed his nose against Lance’s. Lance giggled and blushed, ducking his head into the curve of JC’s neck.

“Oh…sorry…” Justin threw up his hands as he entered the living room. “I’m, uh, sorry.”

“It’s okay.” JC pulled back and leaned against Lance’s shoulder. “Is she okay?”

“Yeah. I, uh, I guess it slipped my mind to tell her.”

“We can leave,” Lance said, his eyes boring holes in Justin’s face.

“No! I think we SHOULD go out tonight. It’d be fun. She has to learn to deal with it. She’s not, like, grossed out or anything. Just, uh, surprised.”

“I don’t think I WANT to go out tonight, now that I think about it,” Lance said suddenly, and JC looked at him in surprise. “I think I’d rather just stay in with JC. We’re always out and about now, proving that this whole lawsuit thing isn’t bothering us. I need some peace and quiet.”

“Oh, okay,” Justin said, looking disappointed. “Maybe another time.”

“Maybe,” Lance said vaguely.

 

“Not that I mind spending time alone with you, but that was kinda surprising,” JC said later as they relaxed on JC’s bed. “I thought…I thought you were okay spending time with them.”

“I am, but I wanted to be with you. Is that a crime?” Lance asked, his fingers slowly unbuttoning JC’s shirt.

“Uh, Lance, what are you doing?” JC whispered.

“Getting you naked,” Lance explained patiently. He ran a hand over JC’s smooth chest and JC shivered. Lance licked at JC’s neck. “Totally naked, eventually.”

“Oh, really?” JC said weakly, his own hands fisting in Lance’s shirt.

“Yeah.” Lance’s voice was low in JC’s ear as he undid the button of JC’s jeans. “I want you.”

“I see that.” JC gulped as Lance’s hand flittered over his cock. Lance pulled off his own shirt and moved to lay over JC’s body.

“Want you inside me,” Lance whispered, kissing JC as he thrust against JC’s leg. “Want you to be my first.”

“But I thought…you and Justin…God, Lance…” JC groaned as Lance’s tongue slithered down to lap at a nipple.

“We did…but I always…I want you inside me,” Lance repeated, hoping JC would get the hint.

“I thought…we were going to wait…” JC panted, arching up to meet Lance’s body.

“Don’t wanna wait.” Lance shoved at JC’s pants, eager to have JC naked.

“Oh…God…” JC fisted his hands in Lance’s hair, pulling him up for a passionate kiss.

 

Lance ran a hand along the line of JC’s shoulder, watching him sleep. JC was beautiful even at rest, his body long and lean and glowing in the dim light of the bedroom. Lance knew he should feel incredibly lucky to have someone like this in his life. The sex had been incredible; JC knew just how to take things slow and delicious and perfect. Lance hoped that he had been that gentle with Justin.

Lance closed his eyes, feeling a teardrop tremble at the surface. He hated himself for even thinking about Justin at a moment like this. The only problem was that it wasn’t the first time that evening that he had thought about him.

“Hey,” JC whispered, reaching up to wipe the tear away. “It’s okay, you know. You don’t know how many times I picked someone and then closed my eyes, imagining someone else’s face and someone else’s body. It’s easy, especially after a while.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lance smiled sweetly and bent to kiss JC’s forehead.

“You called me J, Lance,” JC said softly. “Not Josh, not Jayce, not JC.”

“I what?” Lance said, shocked. JC smiled a kind smile.

“It’s okay. Really. It didn’t really hurt.” JC ducked his head, wiping at a tear of his own. “Because at one point, when my eyes were closed and my hands were in your hair, I almost called you Joey.”

“We are so fucked up,” Lance whispered. “I want to be happy with you, JC.”

“I know, Lance. But it’s okay. We just need to stop fighting it and move on.” JC pulled Lance close so they were snuggled together. “This is amazing…sex with you was amazing. But you and I are just gonna be friends.”

“I don’t want to be alone anymore,” Lance said quietly, and JC felt tears on his arm.

“You won’t be. I’m here for you as long as you need me.”

 

Lance opened the door and was shocked to see Justin on the other side. “Justin, hey.”

“Hi, Lance. Hope you don’t mind me barging in like this…me and Chris played ball, and I was on my way back,” Justin said, mopping at his sweaty forehead.

“Come on in…just don’t drip on anything.” Lance moved aside.

“You’re such a pal,” Justin said wryly, then grinned. “I just wanted to apologize, about Britney.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Lance went to the kitchen to get Justin a glass of water.

“I thought…I don’t know. I thought if I told her about you and JC, that she’d somehow guess about me.”

“Guess what about you?” Lance handed Justin the glass, keeping his face calm.

“Guess that you and I…uh, you know…”

“That we fucked?” Lance said bluntly, and Justin blushed a little.

“It was more than that,” Justin insisted.

“Was it?” Lance asked calmly. Justin drew back.

“Uh, well, no, I guess not. I just…I didn’t know how to tell her.”

“But now she knows and it’s all fixed, right?” Lance looked at the clock. “I was gonna go run for a while. Was there anything else?”

“I didn’t know you jogged,” Justin said.

“I don’t. I run. At the track by the high school. It works off steam.”

“Take it easy, Lance. You’re not in the best of shape right now, and your heart…”

“My heart’s fine,” Lance snapped, and he meant it more than just in the physical sense. “That’s all healed.”

“Okay.” Justin gave him a worried look. “I’ll go, then.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at the meeting with the attorneys on Friday.”

“Right.” Justin gave him another look. “Lance, you know that you don’t need to run the damn case for us, right? We like you just as you are, as one of the guys.”

“I know. I like getting involved,” Lance said. “I like keeping busy.”

“Right,” Justin said. “But soon we’ll be busy in the studio and rehearsals again, so you just be ready.”

“I will,” Lance promised, hating the awkwardness between them. Justin gave him his sunny smile.

“See you Friday.” Justin let himself out, and Lance slowly went to find his sneakers, intent on taking the run he had suddenly decided on.


	20. Chapter 20

AN IDEA  
Twenty

 

“What do you mean, he just passed out?” JC yelled into his cellphone. He angrily swerved his car around a slow driver. “Joey…”

“Calm down, C. I know you’re upset. We all are. He passed out on the track, and another runner found Johnny’s card in his wallet. Johnny called me, and now I’m calling everyone else. Justin and Chris are already on their way.”

“Fuck.” JC hung up and quickly cut across three lanes of traffic to the exit for the hospital.

 

“You guys,” Lance said weakly, smiling at them. They didn’t smile back. Four very stern faces looked down at him over crossed arms. “You didn’t have to hurry over here. I’m fine.”

“Obviously you’re NOT,” Justin snapped. “Obviously you shouldn’t have run like that. Obviously you lied about your heart.”

“I didn’t!” Lance protested. “I thought it was fine!” His eyes moved to JC, and JC read the double meaning in them.

“Well, you thought wrong.” Justin whirled on one foot and stomped out of the room.

“He’s worried,” Joey said gently. “You know how he gets.”

“Yeah,” Lance whispered.

“We’re all worried, Bass. We can’t lose you,” Chris said in a quiet voice that was very unlike him. “We need you.”

“Nice to be needed,” Lance said in a sleepy tone.

“Well, the doctor says you’ll be outta here tomorrow, so we’ll leave,” Joey said. “You need rest.”

“I’m sorry,” Lance said. “I didn’t think this would happen. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, dude,” Chris told him. He and Joey leaned down to hug Lance, then left Lance alone with JC.

“Don’t freaking DO that!” JC almost yelled. “You really scared us, Lance. We love you, and if something…”

“Nothing happened,” Lance interrupted. He brought JC’s hand up and kissed the fingers. “I’m fine.”

“Did you notice how worried Justin was?” JC said in an offhand tone. He slowly withdrew his fingers from Lance’s hand. “We can’t keep pretending about our relationship, Lance. It’s a lie.”

“No one cares, Jayce.” Lance turned his face away. JC turned it back.

“Yes, someone does. Justin does. You should have heard him in the lobby, Lance. He was frantic.”

“You’re just trying to make me feel better,” Lance said softly.

“Hell, Lance, of all people, I am NOT the one to give you false hopes. I just…he was really freaking out. Maybe underneath it all, he’s just scared. You know how it is, knowing you’re not like “all the other boys” and trying to deal with it. It’s harder for him. He has to keep up an image.”

“He’s NOT gay, JC. Just…drop it, okay?” Lance asked sadly. He couldn’t bear to even think about it.

“Okay.” JC leaned forward and kissed Lance’s forehead. “I meant it, you know. We need to cut this charade once and for all.”

Lance simply nodded. JC kissed his forehead again and left the hospital room. Lance shifted and tried to get comfortable under the covers. The wires and machines made things difficult, though after his first trip to the hospital because of his heart, he should have been used to it. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. He thought of comforting things, like JC’s embrace or his mother’s kitchen. He tried NOT to think about Justin.

Lance heard the door to his room open, but he kept his eyes closed. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone. “Hey, Lance,” he heard Justin whisper. He heard Justin sit by the bed, and felt Justin pick up his hand. “Sorry that I missed you…that you’re sleeping now. I’m sorry I ran out. I just…I was scared.” Lance could almost see Justin running his hand through his hair. “I was so mad at you. You stood right there in your house and told me your heart was fine, then I get a call from Joey that you overdid it on the track. At first, all I could think was, “you dumb fuck, Lance,” and then I freaked.” Justin’s finger traced a little path up and down Lance’s knuckles. “But you’re okay, thank God.” Lance willed himself to remain still, though his heart was beating a mile a minute. “I just…I’m scared, Lance. This whole thing with you…it’s scaring me because I don’t know what I’m feeling or doing or what I want…I’m not gay, right?” Justin gave a half laugh. “Thank God you’re sleeping. I could never say any of this to your face. Hell, I can’t hardly believe I’m saying it out loud.” Lance felt the mattress flex under Justin’s hand as he leaned forward. “I miss being with you. I miss just hanging with you. Brit’s not you, Lance.” He felt Justin’s kiss on his lips, and then he heard Justin leave the room.


	21. Chapter 21

AN IDEA  
Twenty-One

 

“I have an idea,” Chris said. “Let’s work on that Richard Marx song. You up to it, Justin?”

“Yeah.” Justin ran a hand through his hair. They had been running over songs for the new album for over three hours, and he and JC carried the leads.

“I like this song,” JC said, sighing. “I want to write like this.”

“You DO,” Lance told him. “I wish you could hear it.”

“Must be nice having your own cheerleader twenty-four seven, huh, Jayce?” Chris said.

“I’d LOVE to have a cheerleader around all the time,” Joey said. “A blond…short skirt…”

“That wasn’t what he meant,” Justin snapped, and Lance noticed him trying not to glare at JC.

“Well, now JC can sing this song and think of Lance, and all the little girls will think he’s closing his eyes and thinking of THEM,” Chris teased. “Perfect.”

“Well, actually…” JC began weakly.

“Actually, me and JC aren’t together anymore,” Lance interrupted. Everyone’s mouth fell open, including JC’s. It had been a month since Lance’s little episode on the track, and nothing else had been said about announcing their “break up.” Lance had told no one about what Justin had said in the hospital room, choosing to ignore it. “We’re just friends.”

“Really?” Joey looked at JC. “And you were gonna tell us when?”

“Lance just did,” JC said, trying to look like he had expected this. “It’s just, ya know, not right.”

“Okay. Well, sorry,” Chris said. “Want you guys happy and all.”

“JC’s great, but it’s not what makes me happy,” Lance said quietly. He watched Justin fiddle with his pile of notes.

“Yeah,” JC agreed, trying not to look at Joey.

“Well, JC, you’ll just have to think of someone else when you sing “This I Promise You,” then, right?” Chris said.

“I can think of someone,” JC said, and Lance squeezed his knee sympathetically.

 

“Hey, Lance,” Justin said, sliding into the booth next to Lance. “Why aren’t you out there dancing?”

“Don’t feel like it.” Lance stirred his drink.

“How many have you had?” Justin asked, concerned. Lance had been depressed ever since the admission that he and JC were no longer together, and Justin wondered if maybe Lance had regretted the breakup.

“Why do you care?” Lance’s green eyes were calm as he studied Justin’s face. “Why don’t you go pick up another little whore out there? That’s what you do, right?”

“Lance, what the fuck?” Justin asked, hurt.

“You have this hot girlfriend that everyone wants to get with, yet you feel the need to bang as many girls as possible. What are you doing? Proving you’re the stud? Proving you only like girls? You’re the one that wanted the girlfriend, Justin.”

“Lance, what, where…what’s this all about?” Justin whispered.

“I heard you in my hospital room, Justin. I heard that you’re confused and that you miss me. But it doesn’t matter, does it? You don’t care enough. You care more about what you’re SUPPOSED to be than what we COULD be.” Lance slammed back the rest of his drink and stood, leaning on the table so he could talk near Justin’s ear. “I have fucking loved you since I was sixteen. We fooled around, but to me, it was so much more. But I let you go, because as you kept saying, you’re not gay. You want women. And you keep getting them, don’t you. What would you think if I told you I hooked up with JC to try and replace you? That I was with him so I wouldn’t be alone?” Lance stared down at Justin, swaying slightly. “I guess I was your first whore, wasn’t I?” Lance pushed his way out of the booth and headed for the door.

Justin scrambled to his feet and went to find JC on the dance floor. “JC, I need you!”

“What’s wrong, J?” JC turned from the beautiful blond woman he was dancing with.

“Lance…he’s drunk…and he just burst outta here…and he said…he said…”

“Whoa.” JC stopped dancing and tapped Joey on the shoulder. “I’m taking the babies home.”

“Gotcha.” Joey didn’t even stop dancing.

“What did he say?” JC yelled over his shoulder as they headed for the door.

“He said he’s a whore and he loves me and that he used you and…” Justin babbled.

“Okay, okay, Justin. Calm down.” JC sighed and ran a hand across Justin’s hair. “He’ll go home. We’ll make sure he’s okay.”

JC called them a cab and they hurried into the backseat. “I didn’t know, Jayce, I SWEAR. I didn’t know he felt…that way.”

“You’re sure?” JC said, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I mean, I knew he liked me. Don’t you have to like someone at least a little to have sex with them?” Justin asked, and JC smiled.

“Not always, Justin.”

“I…I…” Justin looked into JC’s kind blue eyes. “I love him, JC. I told him that, when he was in the hospital, but I thought he was sleeping. Britney’s not him, JC. I’m not gay, though…I like women. But Lance…he just…he smiles or talks to me or praises me and I feel so amazing.”

“You’re bi, Justin. It’s possible, you know.”

“But he loves me, JC? How can he love me? I mean, you, I could understand. You’re talented and handsome and you’re sexy…I’m the stupid one who dumped him for a girl.”

“Justin, trust me. Sometimes you love people and you just can’t help yourself.” JC put a hand on Justin’s arm. “Lance has loved you so long, I don’t think he would even know how to stop. You just need to think about what you’re going to do next. You either have to come some kind of terms with your feelings, or you need to tell him something to let him go, once and for all.”

“Did…did you ever tell Joey?” Justin said softly. JC looked out the window.

“No. But the situation is different. We never did anything…and I have never EVER gotten the vibe that he would love me back.” JC looked back at Justin. “You two have a chance.”


	22. Chapter 22

AN IDEA  
Twenty-Two

 

“I have an idea,” Justin said quietly into his cellphone. “Why don’t you just do the tracks that you don’t need me on? Seriously…JC can do all his and…yes, I know. JC sings…whatever. Look, I won’t be in today, and either will Lance. He’s sick. How do I know? I’m at his damn house. Just do it without us. We’ll be in tomorrow. Bye.” Justin hung up and stretched, trying to crack the stiffness out of his neck.

 

Lance woke up, holding his head and moaning. He sat up and blinked hard, looking around his room. He tried to remember the night before. He had consumed a lot at the bar, and then he had come home and found a bottle of Jack Daniels in the cupboard. He saw the empty bottle on his dresser and winced. Lance swung his legs over the side of the bed and slowly stretched. He saw a cup of water and a bottle of aspirin on his nightstand and sighed. At least he had thought enough to prepare for the nightmare of the next morning.

Lance pulled on sweats and a tshirt and opened his bedroom door. He sniffed and froze. He might have prepared aspirin, but he KNEW he didn’t have a timer on his coffeemaker. He slowly made his way downstairs, blinking against the light that came in through the living room curtains. He looked at his living room sofa. A blanket and pillow were balled up in a corner, and a pair of familiar large sneakers was lying on the floor. Lance headed for the kitchen.

Justin looked up from the newspaper. “Uh, hi. I made coffee…I don’t know if you want some or not.”

“Thank you.” Lance made his way to the coffee and poured himself a cup. He looked at Justin. “Did you stay here?”

“Uh, yeah. I hope you don’t mind. I was worried about you, even though you were up in your room when I got here. I tried knocking on your door, but you didn’t answer, so I just crashed on the sofa.”

“Thank you. Sorry.” Lance sat down at the table. “Why did you follow me home?”

“We need to talk about what you said last night. Do you remember?”

“Uh…” Lance drew a blank, something he didn’t usually do after drinking. Maybe he had blocked it out. He looked at Justin. Justin’s blue eyes were patient and worried and full of…was it hope? “Oh, no. Did I say something about feeling something for you?”

“Are you saying it wasn’t true?” Justin looked disappointed.

“What did I say, exactly?”

“That you loved me. That you were only with JC because you didn’t want to be alone. And you accused me of some things that were pretty damn true, actually,” Justin admitted.

“I said all that?” Lance remembered bits and pieces and buried his head in his hands.

“You also told me that you heard me in the hospital that day.” Justin touched Lance’s arm. “Lance…you were right. I pulled away because I was afraid. But…I love you. I am IN love with you.” Justin’s hand shook slightly. “It scares the hell outta me. I don’t love Britney this way. I never loved anyone this way.”

Lance slowly looked up. “You’re telling me…”

“I love you.” Justin looked down at the table. “And, you know, we need to decide what to do about it. I mean, we can just turn and walk away, God knows it’s the easy thing to do. But if you wanted to…uh…”

“You’re telling me that you want us to be together. Like a couple. Like…boyfriends?” Lance stared at Justin.

“I guess, I mean, we’re not…who am I kidding. That’s exactly what I want.” Justin looked at Lance. “It’s not something we can advertise…and I’ll probably have to keep up this thing with Britney…and eventually tell her about us…but if I have you, Lance, I’m willing to try. I’m just afraid.”

“I don’t believe this.” Lance stood up and rubbed his eyes. “Am I dreaming?”

“You said last night…you loved me…but I guess you don’t?” Justin asked sadly. “Well, maybe it’s best. I mean, now you can…”

“Shut up.” Lance fell to his knees in front of Justin, grabbing Justin’s face in his hands. “I do love you. Fuck, but I love you.” He crushed his lips to Justin’s before Justin even knew what was happening. “I love you too much. I love you so much it hurts. And you want me?”

“Want you…love you…need you…” Justin wrapped his arms around Lance and hugged him. “Love you.”

“Oh, my God…” Lance whispered, putting his arms around Justin and holding on for dear life.

“No one else, Lance, I swear,” Justin promised. “You’re the only one who’s ever meant anything.”

“God…” Lance buried his face in Justin’s neck. “I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it.” Justin pulled away and blinked hard, smiling as he wiped at Lance’s cheeks. “Crybaby.”

“YOU’RE the baby,” Lance reminded him. Justin stood up, pulling Lance up with him.

“This won’t be easy. There will be a lot of hiding, and a lot of lying.”

“I don’t care. I want to be with you.” Lance rubbed his fingers over Justin’s hand. “We just need to tell Joey and Chris, though.”

“Right.” Justin nodded.

“And JC,” Lance added.

“He’s the one who kicked my ass into gear last night,” Justin said. “But we can do all that later.” Lance looked at him questioningly. “I want you to take me upstairs and make love to me.”

“Oh,” Lance said weakly. Justin pressed against him, kissing him. Lance’s headache was long forgotten as the rest of his body responded. “Okay.”

“Hate having to twist your arm,” Justin said with his winning smile. He took Lance’s hand and led him upstairs.

 

“Wait a minute…you’re telling me that you and JUSTIN are together?” Chris stared at Lance. “What about JC?”

“Justin and I took a few detours,” Lance said, smiling at Justin.

“I had no idea,” Joey murmured. “We’re happy for you, I guess, but…damn.”

“It took Justin a while to catch that idea himself,” Lance said, and Justin playfully glared at him.

“About damn time,” JC sighed, getting up to fill his glass of lemonade.

“About damn time,” Lance repeated softly as Justin moved to sit in his lap.

THE END


End file.
